If you’re reading this, there’s a good chance that you or someone you know are in your mid-twenties and are going through some things.
Maybe you’re feeling some crushing self-doubt, a dose of financial insecurity, a sprinkle of heartache, a smattering of feelings of isolation, and perhaps even a dash of complete mental and emotional breakdown.
You might even say you’re in a crisis, or even, since we’re talking about this, a quarter life crisis.
I get it. I’ve been there, personally, and I’ve worked with thousands of people who have been there too. So take a deep breath, settle back in your chair, and set all those stressful feelings aside, at least for the moment. You’re in the right place.
In this guide, I’m going to share everything I know about quarter life crises. We’re going to talk about the definition of a quarter life crisis. We’ll diagnose whether you’re in one in the first place. And finally, I’m going to share all the tips, tricks, and methods I’ve learned from getting one masters degree, writing four books, teaching thousands of people, and experiencing just about every life train wreck possible in my twenties.
One thing I should mention before we begin: This is a good guide. Maybe even a great guide. I’m really proud of it, to be honest.
But there’s only so much we can cover in 2,500 words on a website. So if you need more help, you should get my book, 101 Secrets for Your Twenties. Or my other book, 101 Questions You Need to Ask In Your Twenties. And while you’re there, you could also grab my book 25 Lies Twentysomethings Need to Stop Believing. (Listen, I’ve written a lot of books involving numbers and twenty-somethings in crisis. They’re all great though. I promise. You should get them. Read them. Put them under your pillow and let their happy words sing you to sleep at night. You’ll be happy you did.)
Alright, enough of that. Let’s get started, shall we?
Quarter Life Crisis Definition
First, what is a quarter life crisis, anyway. Here’s my definition:
Quarter Life Crisis definition:A period of uncertainty experienced in your 20s and 30s as you’re crippled with anxiety, fear, and an identity crisis over the direction and quality of your life.
Yes, this quarter-life crisis definition sounds pretty daunting.
But I’d argue that a quarter life crisis is not only common and experienced by millions of people, it could also be the best thing to happen to you.
Heck, in my own life, a quarter-life crisis is solely responsible for me becoming an author and using my writing and speaking to help thousands of people.
Countless people are facing the same lost feeling you may be facing today.
So hang in there. You’re going to survive this and come out stronger. That’s not just an overused cliche. It’s the darn truth, okay?
But first, are you really going through a quarter life crisis? Let’s take a look at the checklist below and see if this describes your experience.
The Quarter Life Crisis Checklist: 25 Signs You’re Going Through a Quarter Life Crisis
If you’re wondering if you’re really in a quarter life crisis, here are a few things that might be true for you. Count how many describe your situation and keep track of your score for the end.
1. You glare at your cat in the morning as you get ready for work and say, “Gosh, I wish I had your life.”
2. “Am I ever going to feel like myself again?” Is something you ask. Every day.
3. A Harry Styles or Matt Maeson song comes on and you start crying. By yourself, or around friends. Or in the middle of a coffeeshop as strangers slowly usher their children away.
4. You don’t think life feels like it’s “supposed to.” At one point, you thought you’d have your life pretty much figured out by your early twenties, or at the latest, by your late twenties.
Now you’re scrolling through Instagram wondering why all your friends are experiencing the success you were supposed to.
Quick bonus secret here from my best-selling book 101 Secrets For Your Twenties: “Life will never feel like it’s supposed to.”
Because what the heck is “supposed to”? Who holds the blueprint for my life—down to the number of kids, salary, and size of my house? Who decides what “supposed to” means?
“Supposed to” is a lie. A fairy tale. It is the stealer of peace and productivity. It is the leading cause of Obsessive Comparison Disorder with everyone who “has it better.”
No one has it all figured out. No one holds their first child with all the answers. Not many walk right into their passion from the graduation stage. Not everyone gets married like they’re “supposed to” or climbs the corporate ladder full of broken rungs.
If we keep trying to live other people’s lives, who is going to live ours?
5. You’re reading this article right now because you Googled: “Quarter Life Crisis?”
6. Visualizing yourself 15 years from now doing your boss’s job makes you throw up a little in your mouth.
8. Your monthly routine of expenses being greater than your income is dawning on you as a serious problem.
9. The feeling, “There’s got be more to life than this,” occurs to you several times per week at least.
10. One or more of the following describes your life:
A. You’ve moved six times in the last four years.
B. You’ve had six jobs in the last four years.
C. You’ve had six boyfriends in the last four years.
D. You’ve had six girlfriends in the last four years.
E. You’ve had no boyfriends/girlfriends in the last six years and you’re scared your boyfriending or girlfriending is broken.
11. You’d pay top dollar for a moment of clarity where you would know exactly what to do in your situation.
12. You feel like you’re being crushed by either anxiety, unemployment, or just crippling student loan debt — you know, like most Millennials these days.
13. Your part-time, temporary job at Starbucks has lasted
six months two and ½ years.
14. You binge on buying brand names to try and cover up your current situation that you’re broke.
15. You find yourself repelled and compelled by church at the same time. You ask God for help one day and then you’re yelling at him the next. Your faith is a roller coaster and you’re pretty sure your seat belt is about to come undone.
16. You see so clearly the two roads in front of you. A life of comfort and a life of risk. And you’re not sure you have the right car or directions to go down either one.
17. You surf the internet so much at work every day that you literally hit a point where you don’t know what else to search for.
18. You laughed and cried when you first read 21 Secrets for your 20s.
19. Everyday life feels debilitating. Making a budget is completely debilitating.
Even thinking about doing your taxes. Debilitating. Buying groceries. Debilitating.
Doing dishes. Cooking dinner. Looking for job opportunities. Calling your mom back. Calling your best friend back. Picking up the phone at all. DEBILI-FRICKING-TATING.
So you watch four seasons in a row of _________, while Instagram stalking exes and enemies.
20. The phrase you dread hearing the most at work is, “Congratulations, you’re getting a promotion” because you’re getting pushed deeper down a career path you despise.
21. You dream about going back and punching your Smug-College-Self who was so sure had all the answers.
22. You feel like every time you’re a bridesmaid or groomsman, an angel loses its wings.
23. You seek out a mentor for answers one week and you avoid them like the 8th grader with bad BO, the next.
24. You have no idea where to go for answers. Or even, how to find the right questions.
25. You’re 99.7% sure a road trip would fix everything.
Well? How did you do? If you identified with more than five of these signs, I hate to break it to you, but you’re probably in a quarter life crisis.
But don’t worry! All is not lost. You’re going to get through this, and I’m going to help.
In the next section, let’s talk about a few things to keep in mind to survive and then thrive when your mid-twenties do their best to destroy your sanity and sense of well-being.
7 Steps to Survive a Quarter Life Crisis
Now that we’ve gone through some of the signs you’re experiencing a Quarter Life Crisis, how do we find help to get through the crisis?
How do we journey through a quarter life crisis and come out the other side alive, kickin’, and ready to thrive?
(By the way, if you prefer listening to reading, check out my the episode of my podcast All Groan Up titled “Are You Going Through a Quarter Life Crisis?” You can find it here or listen below. Don’t forget to subscribe!)
Now, here’s some hope and encouragement if you’re ready to turn your crisis into a Quarter-Life Breakthrough.
1. Crisis is Normal
First, it’s important to know that this is a common experience. I’d go so far to say that experiencing crisis in your twenties is like having gas after eating a steak and cheese burrito.
Just because you don’t want to admit you’re not feeling your best, doesn’t mean we don’t all go through some tough times. (Sometimes caused by our own choices.)
By the way, it’s almost a certainty that your own parents went through a season of intense questioning and difficulty in their twenties, too. They didn’t just teleport to success and stability. If you ask them what their twenties were like you might find out that as your parents got their lives together, they went through their own stuff that sounds a lot like yours.
I love what author and teacher Parker Palmer wrote, while in his 60’s, about his own existential crisis and long season of turmoil that started in his twenties:
“When I was young, there were very few elders willing to talk about their darkness; most of them pretended that success was all they had ever known…I thought I had developed a unique and terminal case of failure. I did not realize I had merely embarked on a journey toward joining the human race.” – Parker Palmer
2. Embrace the Life Transition
All transitions start with an ending. For better or worse, you don’t just teleport from broke twenty-something to successful and happy middle-aged person.
Just like a break up with someone you hoped was “The One”, when you’re in major life transitions you’re breaking up with an important season of your life. You’re cutting the anchor that held you in that port, and as it splashes in the water it’s bound to produce some waves.
When you graduate from college, move across the country, leave friends or family – you’re not only leaving that place, familiarities, routines, and memories, but you’re also leaving who you were in that place.
You’re saying goodbye to one season and even more dramatically, waving goodbye to who you used to be.
As you journey through this crisis, you’re going to lose some parts of yourself and your identity that once seemed really important to you. Sure you’ll take bits and pieces with you, but just like that huge, comfortable couch in a bachelor pad, some big things will get left behind as you make different life choices.
Here’s the thing, though. It is smack dab in this void of “what now?” where you’re going to make the most progress in your life.
Maybe a quarter life crisis is not just a stage to pass over, it’s a transition process to marinate in.
As I write in 101 Questions You Need to Ask in Your Twenties:
Transitions are not simply a bridge to the next important season of your life. Transitions are the most important seasons of your life.
Let the overwhelming feeling of “I have no idea where I’m going” guide you to where you want to be.
(Want to hear more about thriving through transition and change? check out my podcast episode “How to Make Change and Transition the Most Important Seasons of Your Life.” You can find it here or listen below. Have you subscribed yet?)
3. Limit Obsessive Comparison Disorder
Until you cure your obsessive comparison disorder you will continue to light your internal crisis on fire and then feel the burn.
Obsessively comparing yourself to others, becoming more and more frustrated that your _____ doesn’t look like theirs, is the absolute most effective way to take your crisis to eating-raw-cookie-dough-with-a-serving-spoon levels of unhealthy.
So stop it.
You’re your own person. You’ve got your own life and your own journey.
Just because Susie has a better job and a better Instagram feed and better… okay maybe this isn’t helping.
You get what I’m saying though. The best thing you can do in the midst of a quarter life crisis is focus on you. As they say in Al Anon, start by “keeping your side of the street clean.”
4. Kill Unmet Expectations
Maybe it’s time to put to death the unrealistic ideas of how instantly amazing your adult life should have been before these unmet expectations kill you over and over again.
Success doesn’t happen in a day, it happens in decades.
You are in the exact spot you’re supposed to be. It just looks nothing like the picture on the front of the brochure.
All the time, effort, struggle, and strain that you’re experiencing is not a roadblock to your success. It’s a stairwell that can take you to the view you were praying for all along.
(You still have to do the climbing, though.)
5. Engage with a Crisis Community
We need to get better at talking through the struggle.
As I write in my new book 101 Questions You Need to Ask in Your Twenties:
Let’s stop putting on the My Life is Amazing” Magic Show when no one’s in the audience to even watch. “
So many twenty-somethings are struggling, we’ve just become proficient at living by the deadly condition of MCDS —My Crap Doesn’t Stink — even when it’s smelling up our entire living room.
6. Don’t Sit and Stew and Simmer
Open up the windows. Let in some fresh air. Go for a run. Heck, maybe sign up for a marathon. Start yoga. Go to a church service. Read some books. Watch a movie every twentysomething should watch. Volunteer at a retirement home.
If you have no idea what you’re doing in your life, just pick something that you know can’t be bad and just run with it. Beginning a healthy habit—even one—is a great first step to finding a new life path.
Sometimes the best answers come when we stop sitting around obsessing over finding them.
7. Ask Yourself Good Questions
There’s nothing more important to getting through a quarter life crisis than the questions we are asking.
Most people let life just happen to them.
They never ask what they really want and how they’re going to get there. So they take that promotion for a job they never wanted in the first place—guaranteeing further misery in their professional life.
They marry the wrong person because they weren’t asking the right questions about their romantic relationship.
They become a one-hit wonder in front of a crowd one day, then the next, the bottom of the stage falls out and they go into hiding, cycling in and out of periods of isolation.
“If you don’t start with good questions,” I write in 101 Questions You Need to Ask in Your Twenties, “and keep asking yourself these questions as you are called to adapt and change, how can you formulate any worthwhile answers?”
Don’t get me wrong, this process isn’t always easy. It takes grit, honesty, and courage.
But if you’re not asking any strategic questions about what your quarter life crisis is telling you, then how are you going to find any worthwhile answers?
Here are some questions you should be asking yourself:
- Am I struggling to make it appear like I’m not struggling?
- Am I seeing the other side of people’s Instagram photos (you know, the side they’re not exactly posting pictures of)?
- If I’m not going to pursue a big dream, am I willing to drive a 1993 Honda Civic with no power steering, no air conditioning, and no right mirror for 15 years?
- What kind of friendships do I have—Jetpack Friends helping me fly or Anvil Friends repeatedly pulling me down into some dark basement?
- Do I love from my insecurities or from my strengths?
Get a lot more questions (and one or two answers) in my book 101 Questions You Need to Ask In Your Twenties.
You Can Thrive Through Your Quarter Life Crisis
Being in your mid-twenties can feel like a pug trying to climb a mountain. It’s slow, noisy, and un-pretty, but one tiny step after another and you somehow make it to the top.
Invite others with you on this journey. Ask good questions. And keep warring for hope. Before you know it, your quarter life crisis will be a thing of the past.
“Getting lost and exploring are pretty much the same thing. Explorers just get lost on purpose with purpose,” I write in my book 101 Secrets For Your Twenties.
I can honestly say now, I’m thankful for my quarter-life crisis. If we don’t learn how to explore now, then we’ll really be lost later.
My quarter life crisis what forced me to explore and figure out what path I really wanted to go down in life. It encouraged me to think and be intentional. It prodded me to write my thoughts down and devote my life helping others going through crisis with all the books I’ve written. This juncture in life can open career opportunities, evaluate relationships, address your financial situation, and more. Don’t spend decades of life wondering what could have been.
A quarter life crisis is simply an invitation to ask “what and why?”
Sometimes life will dismantle you so that you can be rebuilt stronger.
I’d love to hear from you in the comments below on what ideas you have for making it through a quarter life crisis. What major life milestones are you facing? wWhich of the above tips could you take action on today to start moving forward with a new direction in life?
101 Questions You Need to Ask in Your Twenties.
“A life changing book! I love that Paul keeps it real.” – Dani, Amazon Review
“I read this book back in February, and it actually changed a lot in my life.” – Charlotte, Amazon Review
Snag 101 Questions You Need to Ask in Your Twenties here.
Find help for your quarter life crisis with my best-selling book 101 Secrets For Your Twenties. Now with more than 100,000 copies sold!
“I read this book in the middle of my quarter life crisis and it has helped so much!” – Marie, Amazon Review
“Hilarious, moving, and life changing…” – Jordan, Amazon Review
184 224 1,190 5-Star reviews and counting on Amazon, check out what people are saying about 101 Secrets For Your Twenties.
…..you read lists on travel websites about the best places in the world to have a mid-life crisis and try to work out if any are an affordable place to have a quarter life crisis.
…..when finding yourself in career/life planning workshops where you are asked to make a five year plan, you request to get away with a five month plan because that is difficult enough.
Ha. Joanna your travel comment gave me a good LOL with a side of chuckle. So very true.
Oh yes. I can relate to almost all of these, so it’s nice to know I’m not the only one!
Also, you want to go on a road trip because you’re pretty sure it holds the answers to your crisis, but can’t afford it.
Brianna, you’re definitely not alone. In relating to these and not being able to afford a proper road trip. But sometimes that’s the best way to do it.
Joanna & Brianna — I completely agree! Especially the travel websites and not being able to afford the road trip! 🙂 Paul — thank you for another awesome, incredibly relevant post. It’s nice to know that I’m not alone!
Kristi — you’re awesome. Thank you for the kind words
Some of these are too perfect. Are you watching me or something!? 🙂
Ha. Thanks Katy. Nope, promise these were all generalizations. The names and places have been changed to protect the innocent 🙂
… you start alternately crying and laughing in the break room of your holiday job that’s ending next week while you read this post on a phone so old it takes most of your lunch break to pull it up. And you get excited about things like managing to pump exactly four dollars worth of gas. You can only afford four dollars of gas.
Stephanie — Your comment made me want to laugh and cry. I’ve definitely been in one of those same break rooms, wishing I could break something before I just break. I’m going to write a follow up post on how to live and thrive through a quarter life crisis. Hopefully it helps.
But hey, pumping exactly $4 gas, that’s a skill.
OK, is it sad that 17 of these apply to me or is it worse that i counted. This hit WAY too close to home and I guess that’s a good thing because I know I’m not the only one.
The most true and surprising by far….number 23. I literally could never have imagined anyone other than myself doing that. I thought I was the only nutcase.
How about a seasonal one…you listen to Christmas carols (like I’m doing now) and really and you feel nostalgic, homesick, and like your childhood might have been as good as it gets.
Anyway, thanks for another great post Paul.
Oh my…I have felt like something has been wrong with me for the past 6 months. And last night as I’m laying awake at 1:30 AM trying to figure out where God wants me to go in life all the while thinking about what time I have to be up in the morning to be at my customer service representative job. I finally just give up and say “well, God you’ll need to take it from here since I don’t have a clue what I’m doing.” Trying desperately to believe in my heart that He isn’t angry with me for all the mistakes and changing my mind every five minutes while slowly letting go of the hope of dreams happening…or in all reality, the hope of ever having a dream again. And then I stumble upon this site today (God’s doing…most definitely) and realize that I’m not so abnormal and someone actually gets it. It lightens my heart and mind to know that this is normal and I haven’t just made one big mistake of a life. Thank you so much for writing and sharing…for providing the hope and laughter that was much needed.
Whoa! Number 15,16, 17! Number 5 made me look around to see if anyone noticed what I was googling. I’m edging closer to my 30’s and I thought I would have everything figured out by now. I finally got into med school after 11 years of undergraduate and graduate school and studying abroad. Today, I’m trying to leave it all for __________. I really don’t know what. That post from Abigail about worrying that God is so angry or disappointed in me for all my mistakes hit so close to home. I had everything on the list except all the boyfriend things (definitely boyfriending broken). Thanks for the list. It definitely makes me not feel so alone.
“as I’m laying awake at 1:30 AM trying to figure out where God wants me to go in life ” haha. So true.
I feel like the person that wrote this either spies on me or has psychic abilities… or is a psychic spy.
Ha. Thanks Bob. Guilty as charged on both accounts.
“OH MY GOD IM FREAKING OUT ABOUT THE FACT THAT I NEED TO GET MARRIED IN 6-7 YEARS OTHERWISE I’D BE TOO OLD TO GET MARRIED AND I WOULDN’T LOOK PRETTY IN A BRIDAL DRESS IF I GET TOO OLD TO GET MARRIED AND I DON’T WANT TO BE AN OLD BRIDE BUT I DON’T WANT TO GET MARRIED BUT I HAVE TO OTHERWISE”
Boom. This is what I was hysterical about.
Ha. Natasha. Well said. I’m sure many others can relate to that similar ALL CAPS kind of hysteria 🙂
That, right there with all caps and everything, sums up half of my hysteria.
Man, you’re describing my life I can’t deal lol.
Oh god, this is amazing. The one about the cat–other people actually think that?
It’s a huge comfort to know so much of what I’m experiencing is shared, though. I won’t say it helps, but it makes me feel less broken.
I instantly felt better after reading this. Somehow I felt like I was the only one?! Hahah hilarious and yet able to relate to almost every single point – well done, well done.
Thanks Ashley! You’re definitely not alone.
Quarter life crisis. So this has a name!?
How about being 24 just finishing up with university this summer and ignoring applications for great graduate schemes in favour of 7 weeks travelling in Thailand with friends…
….This trip being a source of incredible excitement yet a cause of constant guilt and worry that I am missing the “career train” and will waste my degree by not striking out the minuet I finish education, or that I am too old at 24/25 to be just starting out in a job, or to be care free. OR THAT 30 IS SO CLOSE….right!?
Arghh life! haha…..PS no 19 may have just made up a large chunk of the past week.
Ha. Thanks Ryan. You encapsulated the internal struggle really well that I feel many of us go through. Sometimes I think the right answer is that there is no perfect “right” answer…right? 🙂
finally, I have found my saga to save us all from the quarter life crisis… Im 20…and it has already started! true eye opener! thanks ! great read!
Thanks Radhika! Glad it helped.
But don’t road trips fix everything? I’m certain they do. #17 hits the nail on the head for me. I’m 28 but I’m pretty sure I’m having a late quarter life crisis.
Thanks Michael. I’m pretty sure it actually should be called a Quarter-Life-Crisis (plus or minus a few, or fifteen)
I’m so glad I did #5 and found this website! The 20’s are a turbulent, joyful, depressing, confusing, exhilarating time that I don’t want to end but also really, really want to end. I’m 28, about to quit my cubicle job and move home for three months to write, get a crappy part-time job I never had in my early 20’s, and figure this stuff out (hopefully… maybe at least in part). It’s exciting and terrifying!
Again, really enjoying this site, keep up the good work of getting us through the groan phase to the grown stage of life.
Awesome Sarah! Thank you for the kind words and big, huge, groan up hats off to you for taking a risk and pursuing something way bigger than yourself. That’s awesome and takes courage.
you totally live in my brain or something, especially the one about boyfriending is broken, and faith is a rollercoaster ride. Genius!
Ha! Thanks Tian. You’re thinking of the #7 right now. And that you want a bowl of cereal.
omg, i feel most of these apply to me. right now i’m 21 and feeling why am i not really “living” up my life? so many of people like me, mostly friends have traveled the world already, met new people, built lasting relationships, while im suck here in chicago doing nothing but work and homework :/ not to mention being single for God knows how long now. i’m in the same boat too about thinking a trip would help this but i can’t afford it :(…..sigh
its sick… I’m almost 26 and I feel the same way… I wanna run away from everything…. basically: road trip
David, I agree. And that’s why I started this blog. Allow me to walk with you through the desert. I promise you if you stay in the fight, keep showing up, and leaning on God, you will get through it. Change is hell, but to not change is the path of slow death.
Wow thank u for this reply, change is hell but to not change is the path of slow death. This changed my heart
Awesome! Definitely a powerful quote. Thanks for stopping by
I realized today that I’ve moved 14 times in the last 4 years. Had a quarter life crisis at 21, dropped out of college and then boarded a one way ticket to China. Road trip doesn’t help. Seriously. Between visa runs, job hunting, and traveling, I’m at my wits end… the issue is when I go back to the States life just seems to static, comfortable and sedentary. It drives me insane. Last trip back home lasted 4 months before I said “Screw this, I’m leaving again, bye bye!”
Wow, you might win the quarter life crisis transition award! 🙂
Hey sooo are you still in Chicago? Or you moved to china? Just wondering?
it’s 3 years later… do you still feel the same David?
david, if you’re still in chicago let’s be friends. you’re the same age now (25) as one of my friends, but i only have 2 :_( actually, he lives in chicago, too!!! do i smell ‘squad’ 🤔🤔🤔
i just need some fuckin friends, mann
THIS IS SOOOO ME! the very frustrating part is i dont know where to go or what to do or what to be…i beat myself up almost everyday thinking about this until i just float blank. 🙁
You freak out and ignore the idea of putting 4% of your paycheck into a 401 K because “you’re only going to be here for a few months,” only to look back on the last five years and realize that apparently you were wrong – you should maybe start to contribute to your 401 k – but you’re only going to be here for a few more months, so….
This is absolutely 100% accurate. I seriously felt like I was the only insane person feeling like this and was embarrassed by it! I really wish I could figure things out and I wish being 22 didn’t feel like I was in high school all over again. I feel confused and angry with myself at times and I feel like i’m learning “who I am” all over again! Crazy and scary at the same time!
Lol, the road trip, dreaming about how that adventure would change my life andhow it will help me finding my purpose is something I’ve done before. Then, I realized it will be expensive and returning to reality will just be the worst feeling ever. I think we should face life instead of looking for experiences to escape from reality.
10 E made me laugh out loud. And this list has a whole new level of irony since I, at 27yrs old, just moved back in with my mom. Though, I think the fact that I don’t care means that crisis isn’t an accurate description of what I’m experiencing.
May I please say how amazingly blessed I am by all of you? Thank you for sharing your lives here. You have all each brought tremendous encouragement to my day. Struggling with the fact that my parents moved out to start a new life in California while I’ve returned to my high school bedroom.
It means a lot to know other Twenties understand.
P.S. A roadtrip is exactly the answer… unfeasible, but 100% accurate. Let’s see how much change I have in my pockets…
Omg. Like 20 of these are me. Insane!! Hilarious, but so freaking sad at the same time! Lol
Wish others would speak up in my community. Trying to get a retail job in one of the trickiest areas of my province (mom’s suggestion in getting job). Persuading my parents that I’m ready to move away from home (hasn’t worked for a few years) to go to school in a province with more opportunities. Dealing with my parents at all with their protective family orientated ways. Definitely in a crisis (able to cope better without family nearby).
This is so hilarious…. because it is so true. I have been going crazy lately because I am still at home paying my parent’s mortgage and I just NEED to get my own place… l NEED my own privacy. I NEED to grow.
My student loans are seriously getting out of hand.
& A road trip is always the answer.
Thanks Vanna! Well said.
I definitely believe a road trip will fix me right now 🙁 lol
Thanks for the post
Am I the only one here who can’t afford a road trip and even if I did I shouldn’t take it because I have too many bills to pay and work to do instead?
I heard your interview on Boundless and just finished reading your book. Thanks for some great insight. It’s definitely comforting to know that others have gone through this and survived. I’m trying to stay positive and hope every step of this CRAZYYYYYYYYY journey will pay off, and most importantly… that I will continue to learn much more about God and the beauty of depending on him when I haven’t been able to do things on my own strength. I pray you continue to inspire others in need!
Oh man, 22 and 25 made me bust up laughing- quietly of course, because my roommates (read: parents) already went to bed.
But on a more serious note, 15 is so true. This is such a strange part of life!
Ha. Too funny!
Yeah #15 was a tough few year ride for me.
Ok, fellow quarter-life crisisers (its a new word) where are we going? I know I need to travel, but I don’t have a buddy.
Ha! Maybe we need to start an All Groan Up adventure group.
Oh my gosh, this is COMPLETELY me right now!! 🙁
I counted as I went along and I got about 12/25 right off the bat *sigh*
Old classmates, friends, and acquaintances are starting to: get engaged/married, get pregnant, moving out of their parent’s house for the first time or on their way to graduating university this year. I just turned 22 about a month ago now – and, I’m still in my parent’s house. I do have a rockin’ full-time job that I honestly love and a car (that I bought with cash all by myself with saving paychecks) and a wonderful boyfriend that I adore, but, I’m like — “THIS is my life right now? This is what was supposed to happen?”. And, I totally feel like some sort of crazy trip/action would liven up my life or help me through this – I feel like I’m in a crisis AND in a rut at the same time. What do I do?! D:
I guess my boyfriend is going through his own sort of quarter-life crisis as well because he’s under pressure – mostly people he knows are getting engaged and he wants to propose but the job market is practically frozen so he doesn’t have the resources to get me the ring or exactly be married, yet.
*sigh* I don’t like this feeling. I want a fast-forward button to skip this…..
Well Cindy I’d say, at least you have a brighter side to look at. I mean you have a job, a car AND a lover and trust me on this- job market scenarios keep changing. So all your risks would be right all along in the near future. To say the least, you know where you are and possibly where you want to be.
But imagine being born into a family of lawyers! Sounds pretty cool huh? Add to that the fact that you’ve aced through school and college!
What’s the first thing they’d want you to be? Any guesses?
Yup my life seemed so crystal clear. I’m approaching 24. I have yet to travel, yet to move out of my parents house, yet to invest time in the dating pool to meet that special someone, yet to hit the gym and get in shape, yet to get my lawyer’s degree.
I want independence, I want to make millions on my own, i want to buy my own ferrari (just exaggerating) and mostly importantly i want to prove that I am not what I am just because of my family. I mean, even if i had to opt out of law, i’d still make a decent living. Having said that, i want to prove that Law is something I CHOSE to do rather than something “that was meant to be”.
But then if i continue with Law, I’d end up proving the contrary. And if I don’t do it and go travelling and partying instead, I’d never buy that ferrari. But if I don’t go travelling and don’t go creating an identity different than what was expected by everyone, I’d miss out the “fun of travelling and discovering life at its peak”. It’s like a circle.
I can clearly see both the roads ahead of me, their pros and cons, maybe i have to choose one, maybe i don’t but i want best of both the worlds and i can’t clearly can’t have them. 20/25 of the above are applicable in my case. I’ll just copy paste the rest from your comment.
Old classmates, friends, and acquaintances are starting to: get engaged/married, get pregnant, moving out of their parent’s house for the first time or on their way to graduating university this year.
Oh did i mention i failed one semester (owing to this confusion!)
This was funny and sadly very true. thanks for sharing. check out my blog about the quarter life crisis [email protected]
How did you find about my life?! I think it was the mentioned of the walking dead that made me think oh crap, this is me
THIS WAS FUNNY.
Gosh this article read me like a book, especially #15. I am Christian but have been having the hardest time keeping my faith because I have been feeling like my life has been losing some meaning. Aside from that, I feel like I am in a weird transition period. I just got done with one of the most difficult years of my life last year. I made the goal that this year will be the year of me and I have done things to make that happen so far. Talking to my parents is like talking to a brick wall sometimes, more so with my mother. I’m hopeful yet anxious. How do I get unstuck?
When you are sick of the same routine and crave for a break in life but college :/
Here are some points highlighting the college life crisis one faces @ http://www.collegeokplease.com/campus-scan/15-signs-you-are-facing-a-college-life-crisis/722
Almost everyone goes through this certain stage in our lives. Experiencing quarter life crisis can be too much overwhelming and quite frustrating at the same time. Thanks for sharing your views. Just be reminded that it is a natural stage of life and you will need to deal with this. And remember, this too, shall pass. Looking forward for more of your posts.
Point 25 is a joke, when a friend of nearly ten years took a ‘road trip’ which was a 2 year World tour all he did was get high, trek, pick up a Chinese girlfriend for a couple months then leave and go back to stacking shelves at a job with no promotion.
How about being twenty-three, having just left the military with pretty much nothing to show for it because I was stupid and blew all of my deployment money on typical deployment money shit, tried to do college, failed out of my first two semesters, the second because I was desperately struggling to juggle a full time schedule with a job and keeping the house clean and going while my roommates were mostly unemployed with kids and I don’t know what to do now because I lost the house and had to move back to my Mom’s which I hate for multiple reasons, including the typical ‘this generation is terrible shit’ that goes in cycles, can’t find a well paying job still, don’t want to live in this state any more, and also came to accept the fact that I am, in fact, bisexual and not straight like I’ve been trying to convince myself for the last twenty-three years? Also apparently I forgot how to use proper punctuation because that was one hell of a run-on sentence.
Damn….. I thought mine was bad. Well, it’s been a year now. How are you right now?
Oh this is all so true….20-23 was exciting, starting my nursing career, getting married, buying a place.. and now I am 6 months away from 25 and basically holding back tears all the time. I’m tired of all the negativity at my work, tired of feeling like I should be someone/feel like something I don’t feel. When will I feel the way I should feel? When will I feel like an adult and not a scared little child? When will I be able to menage the house, the bills, between those 12 hour night shifts? When will I feel accomplished? When will I feel spiritually right? When will feel like I know what God wants from me? Will I ever go to church and feel welcome there by other church members? When will I have children? Will I? Almost 25…. I thought at 25 I’d be an “adult” with kids of our own…. Why is my stupid body not letting us have kids? Why am I working these 12 hour shifts when all I want is to take care of my husband and raise children? Oh right…the bills! When will it stop feeling like we’re drowning in bills? When will I stop feeling like such a failure? The only thing holding me in one piece is my husband! I am dreading my 25th birthday! I think I’m going to be a crazy teary person!
Thanks for sharing your story Vivian and lord knows I feel your pain. I hope you get a chance to check out my books All Groan Up: Searching For Self, Faith, and a Freaking Job! and 101 Secrets For Your Twenties because I think there could be a lot of comfort and insight for you there.
Keep warring for hope and being purposeful in the process. Everything that doesn’t make sense right now will become clear when you least expect it.
This is me, I already planned a road trip for next month lol
Ha. That’s great. Let us know how the road trip goes… 🙂
Hey, I’m the author of the blog http://www.twentysomethinggirl.co.uk and I’ve talked about a lot of the same stuff recently. When I first starting going through my QLC, I didn’t even know that it actually existed until I starting reading about other people’s experiences on the web and realised it’s actually a thing that nearly all twenty-somethings go through!! At the time I just felt so lost and thought I was the only one. it’s great there’s people writing about their own experiences and letting us all know that we’re not alone in this!
oh dear god now i just want to curl up into a ball and cry.
Having a QLC just freaking sucks. I dropped out of college. I just started my first job and I hate it. I was so psyched to do it, but I didn’t prepare for how often the early-bird shifts would come around – I knew early-bird shifts were going to come, I just didn’t think all my first 5 shifts would be early-bird shifts.
I love making light of things with humor, but I think I’m having a QLC right now and I’m really having to confront & question everything I believe, know, or thought I believed or knew. My goals, even the most realistic of them, seem so far removed from the path I’m actually setting out on. Sometimes I’m even afraid of what will happen when I _meet_ my goals – even if I succeed at it, will the result be all that it’s cracked up to be?
This article certainly helps.
I just turned 26 and this article is an embarrasement for my generation, I’m telling you, it pissed me off.
Look at how people lived 20 years ago, to say nothing about the times before. My ancestors (|’m European) have survived wars, famine and other problems you even have no idea about. And I’m feeling lucky and thankful that I was given this life.
This site and article is just a PR to make 20-somethings feel they definitely have problems and the cure is the books of the author of this site.
All the cure these youngsters who are ‘going through crisis’ because ‘They’re having arguments with mom again about cleaning bathroom’ is a huge slap! Or at least a little bit a sense of grattitutude towards the fact they have a mom and a mom who cares about them and wants their children to become better persons who can tidy up their mess at 25! Or the fact that you have a bathroom with hot and cold water running. Don’t like it? Then get your s**** together and stop moarning and making selfies – I’m telling you, it has never helped anybody!
I’ve gone through ‘tough’ periods as well (and I have moved 6 times in last 4 yrs, seriously) but at my age I’m lucky I’ve been able to discover it’s all been crap I’ve been worried about. I can give you free consultations about how to finally grow up!
I can’t speak for every other 20something year old who came to read this article, but I actually found it a huge relief to know that yes, the things that I’m feeling sad and worried about are normal and common at this stage of life, and I’ll surely work my way through them.
That’s all people need – a little encouragement and reassurance from time to time. Fingers crossed you figure things out.
Thanks Tiny Horses! Extremely well said. It’s these kind of statements that bring life and encouragement to people. Thank you for sharing.
I often say that we connect over our shared struggles, not our pretend perfection. Our struggles might look, feel, and sound different, but I think it’s important not to minimize what other people are going through because it’s not exactly our own experience.
Often times it’s the people who have it all “figured out”, who are in for the biggest surprises of them all.
I swear I just about DIED laughing at number 17. And the road trip to solve it all…tried that twice already LOL… this is EXACTLY why I started Boop and Company..somebody has got to tell people it’s OKAY not to have all the answers.
No way! I knew I wasn’t alone! Everything you mentioned is so relative to what going through right now! Happy to know I’m not alone!
By far for me it was when I woke up one day and realised that my life had become the very thing I dreaded “average and comfortable.” I had pretty much conceded to the 9-5 lifestyle and not living my dreams out. Sometimes we need to hit rock bottom to finally realise that we need to break free from the quarter life crisis, at least for me that pain of hitting the bottom propelled me to take massive action to live the life that I know I deserve.
#3 is a heartbreaker and I’ve never been this crybaby all my life. Your article nailed it and I am sure a lot of people in the world can relate to how you simplify this transitionary phase. The symptoms are all over the place and it just puts me to sadness. Goodthing this post popped up and I am very grateful. VERY.
I didn’t know this feeling had a name. All I know is that I don’t know a lot of things I feel I should, I’m upset about it and I haven’t a clue how to fix it. I wanted to sign up for the course but it seems to be full so… maybe I’ll try again later or something…
I’m 27, it’s taken me this long to realize that procrastinating is the worst thing to do with the things that are necessary to finding that career you want. If you see that class as something to get the ball rolling, then act on it. Maybe it won’t be this semester, but you can plan ahead, save money, look for Financial Aid options, and then find a class. There is always an option. The one secret is that there is no one specific way or path you’re supposed to take. I recently signed up with a community college and am in the process of finding financial aid. Best of luck.
I’m 28, married for 5 years, no kid’s yet, AAS degree in computer science, no job/career. And I have no clue what I want to do with my life. I don’t HAVE TO work, but having a job means I’m actually doing something productive with my life. Yet I fill applications and don’t really care to follow up on them. I recognize what I’m doing (my actions), and I talk about wanting to change, but that’s all it is talk. I can’t seem to take the next step toward change. My hubby has an awesome career which I’m jealous of. I know no one can make me change or give me the answers, but I just need guidance or a life coach or something to help push me off my lazy ass toward change. Yes a road trip on a ‘self discovery journey’ is something I’d love to do, but of course it won’t happen.
Thanks for sharing your story Molly! I think this 3-part video series I did called: UnStuck: How to Crush the Things that are Holding You Back might help give you some more clarity and motivation. Check it out. It’s free. http://signaturesauce.com/courses/get-unstuck
And then I’ll be re-launching my full Finding Your Signature Sauce online course and coaching either February or March. Excited to connect more Molly and help you find some of that elusive clarity…
I honestly feel like I’ve screwed up my entire life. Brick wall after brick wall. I’m slowly contemplating scratching my eyeballs out.
Definitely keep those eyes open and your nails cut short. We’ve all screwed up. I know I did many times over. That’s the amazing thing about redemption. It wouldn’t be possible if you never needed anything redeemed. Keep warring for hope Crystal. I hope you check out some more articles here at All Groan Up for encouragement.
Here’s some articles that might help:
“The Purpose of Pain” — https://allgroanup.com/featured/the-purpose-of-pain/
“Your Biggest Fall Might Save Your Life” — https://allgroanup.com/featured/your-biggest-fall-might-save-your-life-an-unbelievable-story-from-history/
Oh God I am 23 and this has hit me as a small moment of clarity.
I can relate to this so much… I´m only 21, but I feel like I´m already failing at everything in life. I have a job, I make enough to earn a somewhat decent living and buy food, I have traveled to some great places, so overall I feel like I should be appreciative of my life, right?
But then again, I actually am starting to hate my job more and more on some days and appreciating it more and more on other days. I feel like there´s nothing I´d rather do, but at the same time I don´t really like the job either.
I can´t do simple adult things I feel like I should have learned by now. I can´t cook because I´m terribly afraid of fire and stoves and cutting myself… I´m pretty much afraid of anything, honestly. I can go weeks with just eating bread and cream cheese just so I don´t have to try to cook. And I don´t even try to overcome this fear out of fear of even trying. I can´t help but think – what if I ever do have children? I have to be able to cook something, right? Or even heat something! I can´t even boil water… I can´t iron, I can´t ride a bike, I can´t have simple conversations with people just because I´m afraid of talking to people, I don´t even know how to change the staple things in my stapler. I guess I could solve the last problem, but here we go again with my fear of trying.
I feel like I´m always going to be alone… and maybe I´m too focused on myself to ever be in a real relationship and maybe I´m just overthinking everything (like I´m overthinking my massive usage of “I” in this paragraph alone..).
I don´t like the person I´ve become recently… I used to be so driven, ambitious and focused in my high school and early college years, and now I´m the complete opposite. It´s like nothing in life inspires me to want to work for that thing anymore. I´ve been drinking irresponsibly pretty much every other day when as a teenager I vowed that I hated alcohol and people drinking irresponsibly… I know that people change when growing up… But I donß´t feel like I´m growing up, I feel like I´m betraying my old self and her principles.
I just want to forget my problems and be able to actually un-self-consciously talk to people and alcohol helps me do that and for that reason alone I wish I could be drunk every second – but is that the starting point of alcoholism? Where does it start?
Sometimes I think there must be something emotionally wrong with me… Why do I have so many phobias? Do I have anxiety? Or depression? Or do I just have a quarter life crisis?
OMG! I am not alone!! I am 22, and I have been feeling like this for a while now. I always thought it was just me and I have never heard of a quarter life crisis until today. Glad that I am not the only one who is going through this
You are definitely not alone! Welcome to the club 🙂
There’s literally thousands of people Googling Quarter Life Crisis every week and finding their way to this Groan Up community. Twentysomething life is anything but simple or straight-forward, and we definitely need to support each other through this intense transition process.
Im on this stage right now. You see alot of people being “All grown up” while me is “all groan upp”. Lol
But I do wonder if Im using quarter life crisis as an excuse for me not to plan my life. The thing is, if I do pursue what I want, its gonna be a very big risk (finacial, security, stability etc)
Is there a way to break free from this madness?? If there is, I want to know and realize. I don’t like to realize the things that I shouldve done before its too late :((. I need a life coach who have bern on this phase.
Am I the only one who feels like college was a complete waste of time and money?
So how do we solve this?
U know what guys, i just have a little reflection to share.
Im 29 now, and i suddenly heard a song from the spice girls, suddenly the feelings from our 6th grade touches my mind. It reminds me of the feeling like ur parents life is unlimited, ur wealth and ur parents strength is unlimited, ur innocence in reality suddenly has been reminded of me. With this memories, those embarassments and failures from our 6th grade also has popped, and it made me realized that in this life you will experience embarassment, failure and aaallll the life’s whatever experience, but in the end, you will get through it as long as you stay strong and not giving up on your dreams you will make it.
Why would not want to hear that youre getting a promotion?
Which number describes: I’ve given up on ever finding anything meaningful in life, resent the fact that reality refuses to become fiction (or vise verse) and cowardice is the only thing keeping me from doing a Sicilian necktie instead of a windsor in the morning?
Hello, I´m currently 17 (almost 18) and in the process of graduating from highschool and while it´s awesome to finally be able to pursue my dreams and live my own life it´s also super scary. I´m trying to find my own place to live and i can´t help but feel so conflicted about it. I always thought that when you turn 18 you turn into an adult and you are somehow ready to live your own life but how do I know if i´m ready? To be honest it really scares me to think about living on my own. I just dont want to mess things up now, im really afraid of making all the wrong choices. When you´re in school it doesn´t really matter, but now i kinda feel like everything is so much more serious and everybody but me knows how to deal with this. It makes me really insecure that I feel so much less like an adult than everybody around me (even if they´re the same age). I just don´t know how people deal with this, my stomach hurts everytime I think about student loans or paying rent, I also just really dont want to disappoint my parents. I do want to live my life and i do want to go to uni and everything it just really scares me. It just seems like soo much responsibility and i dont know how to handle it.
Thanks for sharing your story Elena. I definitely can relate.
As I write in my book All Groan Up: Becoming an adult is not a one-time thing. You grow into growing up.
This article is so real for me. I had no idea that you could even have a quarter life crisis until it hit me around 20. I totally wanted to run away on a road trip and I still feel like I don’t have all the answers yet. I even wrote a blog series on dealing with a Quarter Life Crisis. Check it out: http://www.rtor.org/2016/06/07/quarter-life-crisis-awareness/
I just turned 20 and in university and I just related to almost everything on this list. This whole time I thought I had depression or there was just something mentally wrong with me. Thank God I’m not alone in this. I’m about to change my major AGAIN this year because I don’t freaking know what to do with my life. Everyone around me seems to have it all figured out. While every other 20 year old at my school is having a blast this summer (I’m assuming) I’m stuck with summer classes and a stupid job feeling like I don’t know who the hell I am or what I’m supposed to be doing. If anybody has any advise please feel free…
As I often say — we’re all struggling. Yet we’re all struggling to make it appear like we’re not struggling.
Thanks for sharing your story Amal and being honest about what you’re wrestling with right now. You’re definitely not alone in this and more people are struggling with these same questions then they let on.
Here’s a few more resources that I’ve created that might help give you some ideas and direction:
“Get UnStuck” — a free 3 part video course — http://signaturesauce.com/courses/get-unstuck
11 Questions Every Twentysomething Needs to Ask — https://allgroanup.com/adult/11-questions-every-twenty-something-needs-to-ask/
Ooh man….. as everyone suggests, this makes me wanna laugh and cry. Except just more on the cry part. 23 years old, spent almost five years in university in a programme which I dont like at all (because my parents want me to), not a single job experience (I’m a spoiled child), and failed attempts to form a band with other people (which I want to do). The only thing that is keeping me sane is being alone in my room, with my acoustic guitar and my own voice, just writing songs and sing to myself……
Ive driven across the continent twice thinking it would help somehow
Ha! Third times the charm? 🙂
This literally me right now. I hate going on to facebook because I see colleagues who are successful, graduates, enjoying the mountain. and yet here I am stuck at work with a daily routine of going home and scrolling up and down through facebook. Gosh I have switched jobs for the last 4 years not knowing what I love is not helping m get the right job
I’m going through a quarter life crisis, right now, today alone I quit my job, told my boyfriend to go to hell packed my stuff and bought a one way ticket to Texas, when I get there I’m getting a name change and starting completely over. I leave in a week and all I’m going with is a suitcase full of cloths and that’s it.
Wow, that sounds intense Taylor! Either you’re living a movie or a movie is living you. I pray peace over your transition.
I so can relate!!! Im 27 years old, jobless and no degree. Im going back to college to finally work on a degree on something which scares me to think about the job market and tbh I dont know what to major on. Been married to an amazing man who is keeping me sane.
I invested so years in college trying to pursue a degree in nursing but then i failed out due to certain circumstances. It hit hard realizing im 27 with no kids and bills keep coming in.. 🙁
i’m 22 and i’m sitting in my office right now, telling myself,”Ha! that’s me” which btw is totally confusing bcause am i happy that i’ve got this crisis right now? NO! God.. I’m so frustrated… everything feels like repeat cycle.. wake up-eat-work-browse the net- go home-sleep…. at work when i dont have nothing to do but surfing the net and watching stupid videos.. when i got into the middle of the video im like..”FUCK!!! what am i doing with my life?” i’m thinking of going out there maybe a roadtrip cause that would be fun, but everytime i think about it, it just adds up to the stress just thinking of where to get the money you need for the trip..what will i do after? and in the end… guess what? I’m still stuck here in my office…turning fr 22 to frustrated grandma.
I feel you. I was smiling the whole time reading your comment. I thought I was the only one with this kind of situation.
hahaha. i’m so happy i found a kindred spirit! lets be friends btw.
i started to feel shit at the end months of 2016. i feel like i want to settle for comfort but i have dreams i want to achieve. i’m a college student and i feel like i can’t do anything about my problem. i was (still am) confused of what’s happening to me. i have lots of things i wanna do but i end up contemplating and motivation is nowhere to be found. i’m facing a lot of decision makings and i was like “stop, what do i even want?” everything is started to look blur and i end up spacing out and i’m like “i’m stuck” like my life is going nowhere. until i thought maybe this is a sign of a life crisis. i also thought this is too early for me. anyways, in short, i’m at the point of my life where everything doesn’t make sense and i hate it.
I’m 23, turning 24 in about 9 days and thinking about it makes me want to break something.
I’m from Nairobi, Kenya.
I graduated from university last year, after battling my department because of missing grades and horrible lecturers. Also, I was left behind by most of my friends who graduated two years earlier. Most of them have jobs now, & one got married.
My love life is non-existent.
I’ve never had a boyfriend, and sometimes you feel so much pressure because everyone around you is in happy successful relationships with people who seem to get them. Know what I mean?
Almost a year ago I met this wonderful guy on Tinder who sounded like God had sent him just for me.
I grew to love him but it totally blew up in my face because his feelings changed and now I’ve pretty much been dealing with heartbreak for a year.
Crying myself to sleep, crying more in the mornings. Asking myself countless times “Why?”
Girls, I know you hear me.
In a bid to get over him & try to get back out there I’m trying the online dating thing again but it just doesn’t feel… I don’t know. Something’s off. Like, some guys are interested but I feel like there’s no spark and I’m not willing to compromise my standards or principles, like random hookups and stuff.
Also, I did the online thing because I don’t know how other ppl meet ppl outside of a nightclub/nighttime activity environment. My curfew is 6pm. I’m totally okay with that because if safety, & there are total whackjobs out there just waiting to try and take advantage or hurt somebody.
This morning I was actually wondering if I should just close my account altogether.
I’m not working yet, finding work in Nairobi is so difficult because you either know someone or you buy your way in. I’m guessing that applies internationally. Also, all the jobs want two or three years experience & it makes me wonder how the hell those of us that are fresh outta college stand a chance.
In addition, finding work will be slightly more difficult for me because my health isn’t great. I have a medical condition and a double hip injury which means I can’t do anything too tedious or that requires a lot of standing. That rules out a looot of entry level jobs.
Also, I grew up pretty sheltered so the whole concept of employment is pretty much terrifying to say the least.
Anyways, I’m incredibly grateful to have stumbled upon this. It makes me feel like I’m not so alone, & that we all share these fears even if we’re miles apart.
Thank you Paul Angone for posting & everyone else for commenting.
I know God has a plan for me & everything, but sometimes I wish he’d just give me a damn heads up.
I know life isn’t meant to be easy but hang in there. For those of you that are religious, there’s something I usually do. I tell God to please hold my hand a little tighter when those very trying moments happen. You know, the way kids hold their parents’ hands when they’re scared and you instantaneously feel completely safe. 🙂 I hope it helps.
Lots of love everyone. :*
I wonder how are you right now? I’m at this very moment of my life , well not exactly but I can really relate in your situation. I just need someone to talk to who can relate (:
I just found this website and Im feeling like hugging you all here at once. :”
I’ve been feeling really anxious. I just want some answers.
I just turned 19 today. I feel like the world just wants me stuck in this full time job of installing granite counter tops. I’m in recovery and have been clean for over 2 years since the end of 2014. I don’t know where my life is going to go ,every day I wake up feeling like there’s no hope. Any suggestions?
Thanks Matthew for sharing your story. I know many of us can relate.
Here’s some more specific articles here at All Groan Up that might help speak into your situation:
How to Make it Through Disappointments in Life: https://allgroanup.com/inspiration-2/how-to-make-it-through-disappointments-in-life/
How to Find Your Purpose in the Most UnExpected Place: https://allgroanup.com/inspiration-2/how-to-find-your-purpose-in-the-most-unexpected-place/
11 Questions Every Twentysomething Needs to Ask: https://allgroanup.com/adult/11-questions-every-twenty-something-needs-to-ask/
I feel the same way… I am basically bored. :c
Hey guys 25 in college. I read some of your comments. If it makes yall feel better i am one of the dumbest in my class, spent 5 years in college and hung out with dumb friends working as a cashier. Had no prior confidence due to messed up spine and heart condition. Every time i felt like the world fought me i pushed harder, i fought back with positive things i.e weight lifting avoiding degenerates i thought were friends etc. But everytime i do something i felt delayed because my life is not what a normal persons life is.my sister has autism and i have a messed up spine and couldnt do contact sports and when i tried to learn add/adhd kicked in. Now i am studying audiology and about to graduate but i have no idea what the hell i am doing and dont understand half of this. Tbh i wanted to drop half way through but i didnt. Im the dumbest one in my class because i cant process things fast like they can. I hear them talk about me behind my back and i wanted to drop out numerous times. Now i am about to graduate after being forced through school. Im used to doing things alone and acting like the world is against me now i have to work with people that spoke down on me and treated me like shit?! I have major drastic changes and its hitting me to fast! Not to mention single after 5 years and my ex cheated on me! I have no support now. Been wanting to quit and go road trip the world but i know that is childish. How do i go into a field i have 0 confidence in?! And please with all due respect no cliche advice im so used to “you can do it” or something cheesy.
@Daweights23 – I feel you, brother. Do not think who is dumber or who is smarter. We had moments where we made choices that are not wise, or rather we knew we shouldn’t have done so. But, what can we do except listening to our gut-feelings? Props to you in getting through college – not many people can do so. Each person has their very own destiny to achieve and path to hike through. Your moment will shine very soon, stick to healthy habitats: weight lifting, thinking positively, and etc..
NOTE: GO ON THE ROAD TRIP THAT YOU ALWAYS DREAM OF – you are the master of your very own life.
wow that last one. Moments ago I just said once I get a car I might not come back and I bet I will come back with the same problems as before, with no solution whatsoever. *Sigh* My husband is a truck driver and I do data entry from home with limited availability of hours, basically no career. I’ve considered become a pharmacy tech because of stability of pay but my dream is to be a home and fashion designer. To sell handmade items. He wants that for me but right now, income is more important. I’m 26 and we have two kids, he’s 30. He soon will be making $70,000-80,000. Why can’t I just into my dream while he works. He’s doing what he wants and here I am typing recordings all day for $80-100 a paycheck. I’m almost losing it.
Thanks for sharing your story! Sounds like if he’s jumping up in pay that should free you up a little to go after what you want instead of feeling stuck. There’s a free, 3-part video series I did called Get UnStuck that might help you make the leap and be inspired while you do it. Check it out. http://signaturesauce.com/p/get-unstuck
Also there are hundreds more articles here at allgroanup.com whenever you need a little more encouragement
I think the fact that I googled this at 1 am and relate to pretty much all of it says a lot. Screw life. Screw death.
When I opened up my problems to my parents, they just laughed at me and told me to suck it up. I tried, didn’t work out. I left home travelled around the country but I still don’t know what to do with my life. I exhausted my savings, went back home. I’m so happy that I’m still welcome. Currently I’m 24 1yr and 6mo unemployed I’m helping out with the family business yet I still don’t know what to do with my life. I never thought that Mid-life crisis is a thing until now.
Ps: sorry for my bad english
Thanks for sharing your story Hans. I know many of us here can relate.
This article is the source of the most laughter I’ve had in a few weeks THANK YOU, I can relate to literally almost every single item on here
Thanks awesome Lauren! Thank you
The 19, is so true for me… I’m feeling bad now I didn’t realize that my life was broken.
This is me right now, I’ve always known for a while that I can’t find joy in things like Holidays, video games, etc. I’ve always known that I want to live near the beach N.C. still stuck in Colorado Springs. I don’t have that career I ant yet, but I am working my way towards it, I’m starting to see the nastiness in people who I don’t need relationships with and I am realizing to let others live their lives. My mom doesn’t put a curfew on me though lol.
😰😰😰 this is so me right now, it’s rediculous. i have no interest or energy for anything, and live with my family at 20, and literally do NOTHING, EVER, because of crippling depression, disassociation, and an intense migrane I’ve had for a YEAR. God, please let 2018 be “my year”, I beg of you, I need to gain clarity, give me clarity, in Jesus name I pray, Amen. 🙏
Sheila, I am on the same boat with you just like many others – do not worry. We don’t have to wait for 2018 to begin to start our transformation. First off, slap yourself to wake up early and focus those tasks that you think it’s important, one at a time… I am struggling as well, but wanted to give you some comfort and comforting myself at the same time.
Hi Sheila, how are you doing now? Thanks for sharing a piece of your story with us.
I am 26. But still feeling lost. I don’t know if it is because some of my friends are married (some even have kids already) and have a great job (usually means a well-paid job). I am still figuring out what kind of job or industry which I am really interested in that I would totally be devoted to. The fact is I am 26, I don’t really have much time left to try. I think it’s quite lucky to find your own passion at an early age, just like find someone you would love to spend your rest of life with together.
Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment. It’s never too late to try, take risks, and keep exploring. We all find clarity at different points in our journey, and I’ve found that my great insights have been produced from my seasons of greatest struggles and questions.
Thanks paul.. this is much needed encouragement
Awesome! Thank you!
I can totally relate. will be 26 this year. finalising medical school n feel at cross roads in my life. actually confused n not sure which way to go. practically never had a boyfriend(well, had a long distance one shortly)…mainly by choice since i was raised in a very strict traditional family… most of my friends r now married n hv kids. my love life is non existent, n being in medical school abroad hasnt made it any easy. so i feel like, just running away from everything or somebody tell me everything will be okey..i know God clearly has my back, but pheew! sometimes i need something tangible.
My birthday is 2/13….i’ll be 25………My life is not where i wanna be right now and im having anxiety attacks, panic attacks………………i feel lost, and yet somehow i end up here.
Thanks C.C for stopping by All Groan Up. You’re definitely not alone in your feelings of lostness. We’re all struggling, but most of us are struggling to make it appear like we’re not struggling. Thanks for sharing.
#25 is too accurate.
I am 26.. and yes i had hit quarter life crisis in google which ended up landing me on this page. Like everyone else even i am going to agree that much of these applies to me right now and i am so freaking lost. I am feeling relieved that such crisis even exist and many people must be going through this and yet i am at a loss as to how am i suppossed to overcome it.
Wow, everything is spot on. 24 turning 25. Some days I feel like I just want to take a long, long walk and forget about everyone and everything, or just go out to look for a tree far away from everthing and everyone and hang myself.
Some of them applies to me too.. I thought I’d get better if I get the dream role (which wasn’t really) I always desired at my job. Now I am at that role but the feeling is still the same.. Not sure what I have to do.. I love music and I also play guitar but even that doesn’t work and that’s definitely not my calling.. I thought may be travelling would help (I’ve never tried it though) but somewhere I feel it won’t work either.. My friends say that I think a lot but I don’t know if that’s true.. I am not sure what kind of life am I really looking for.. I don’t know what I really want to do but I certainly know what I don’t want to do.. I don’t want a life where I am getting married and paying the bills.. I don’t want a life where I just travel office and then home.. I don’t want a life where I have dependents on me.. I don’t want to get bonded.. But then the feeling scares me that how would I survive if I don’t earn, and to earn I definitely have to be in the mediocre race.. You can very well make out from my writing that how badly I am confused about everything..