I turned 28 29 on Saturday.
Wait, sorry. That’s more like Twenty-Freaking-Nine?! Srrrriously?
Nothing will remind you of what was, what is, and what you hope to be, more than your birthday.
Follow that up with your first Father’s Day the very next day like I did, and you’ve got yourself one giant ball of reflection fit for it’s own memoir.
When well-wishers have asked me how old I am, I’ve had to pause more then once to try and remember. “Umm…27…no…wait…umm…twentyyyy….dang…umm…” Whether it was just sheer disbelief or the sheer inability to do mental math under pressure like a 5th grader competing in the Tri-County Math Bowl, 29 just didn’t seem to be the right answer.
BIRTHDAY EVOLUTION
The evolution of your birthday is one of the starkest definitions of what it means to be an emerging adult. Growing up, your birthday is THE DAY that could only be remotely rivaled by Christmas. But Christmas you have to share with your family and some baby in the manger, whom you have to pay dues in an extra, agonizingly long and incredibly boring, midweek church service. So it’s not much debate that YOUR DAY literally blows the other 364 away. Even baby Jesus can’t compete.
Growing up, your birthday is not a secret. No, it’s what you invite every single person within a fifty-mile radius to come celebrate. You’d make a radio ad and scatter fliers all over the six elementary schools in your town, if your live-in grown ups would’ve let you.
And all the way until 21, your birthday means you’ve accomplished something and now more of the kingdom awaits you. But after alcohol is now being freely offered – your corresponding birthday’s are met with the same ambiguity as your job search and relationship status. What is 23? Or 28? Each year says you’re older, but no longer is that really an accomplishment. No, slowly it starts becoming quite the opposite. As if you’re somehow doing something wrong by traipsing across the calendar in such a rapid fashion.
Birthday’s in your mid-20’s are like that stretch of road trip where you’re no longer home, but not yet where you want to be.
It’s that flat, long stretch of no man’s land where stops to see the World’s Largest Prairie Dog and Five-legged Cow seem like the best options you’ve got.
THE SWEET SOUND OF GROWING UP
But as I turned 28 and found myself laughing hysterically watching 20somethings play pin-the-tail on the donkey — our newborn baby fast asleep even amongst the squeals of pin-the-tail-delight, I began finding myself peacefully at home at 28.
Because as you get older you realize that your birthday is really not that important. Your age is just a number, nothing more. Your birthday is not formulaic algebra — no it’s abstract math, and it’s up to you to find that right solution.
So here’s the birthday equation I’m working on:
29 + Me = Each day becoming more the husband, father, and man I was made to be.
Now that’s math that I can do.
____
What do you feel about your 20something birthday evolution? Do you have a new equation you’re working on? Let’s hear your thoughts via comments below.
Birthdays. Ohhhh, birthdays. I’m glad you took 28 with so much grace, Paul! I tackled 27 just a few months ago and buried my “holy crap, I haven’t achieved a damn thing I wanted to by this age” qualms in seemingly endless shots of tequilla and pineapple juice chasers with co-workers. I’m almost positive there was a tequilla fairy involved.
I’ve learned at a young age that life is short. After feeling as if death by tequilla was surely imminent for days after my birthday, I got fed up with my old timeline. Now I’m just using it as fuel. I’ve got a whole lot of world conquering, mind blowing, and game changing to do so I best hurry my tail up.
Ha! Definitely been smothered with some “holy crap” birthdays as well, so I can relate. I think many of us had a timetable that was about 6 years too fast and $535,000 over-bid. So here’s to lighting it on fire and rocking Plan D!
“Birthday’s in your mid-20’s is like that stretch of road trip where you’re no longer home, but not yet where you want to be.”
You hit the nail on the head with that one! Sometimes I feel like I’m just marking time until…whatever. Until my husband is done with grad school, until I can quit my job, until, until, until.
Then I tell myself to snap out of it and just enjoy my funfetti cake.
Alexis! Love this. Until, until, until….couldn’t agree more. We are all spinning around on that carousel waiting for something to come rescue us instead of just stepping off the damn thing! Because funfetti cake awaits and if we don’t eat it the flies will
I just wrote a post about 27 being halfway between clinging desperately to our youth and happily embracing adulthood. I’m teetering somewhere in the middle of the two. I’ve done a seen a lot in my years so far, but still have trouble feeling like I’ve done enough. After all, we’re almost 30 and then we’re 40 then we’re practically dead of old age…
Ah you reflected on this perfectly. As someone approximately 2 months older than you, I can say that I do feel older at 28, but it doesn’t bother me.
I like Alexis’ comment about until…until…until…I’m doing that now – it sucks.
Oh geez, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
To be at peace that you’re birthday is just your birthday, just one day amidst the rest and doesn’t have to mean anything profound is such a relaxing feeling…thanks Diana for sharing with us your profound “elder” wisdom..ha
I am turning 24 in a few weeks and I have never felt so accomplished. I am still in school after switching majors a bajillion times, the job I have is not where I want to be the rest of my life, and all of my friends are either married or about to get married. All of these things were starting to scare the crap out of me a few months ago, BUT now it’s not so bad. I have moved out of my parents house and started my journey to growing up. I am living in a house that is old, and has some questionable smells, i’m still in school and still at a not so awesome job, and I will probably be looking up some new ramen noodle recipes because its all i can afford, but despite these things I feel happy and proud of myself and that’s what I have been searching for.
Any suggestions on cheap eating would be awesome 🙂
Cecilia — Varying spices are key to a proper Top Ramen diet 🙂
Congrats to you for taking these giant leaps of unknownness.
I’ll be turning 23 this coming Friday. I’m not sure how I feel about that yet. I graduated last May and, of course, I’m not really using my degree in my current career. My parents LOVE that. I got my degree in French horn performance and now I travel around the country singing in a Southern gospel group. I love it, but sometimes I feel like I’m not really moving forward because I’m not working toward that next…something. Another degree, a promotion, marriage and kids, etc. I know I’m not alone, but I sure do feel like it sometimes!