What’s holding you back from finding and pursuing your purpose in life?
Is it a lack of time, opportunities, or money?
Yes, these are obstacles. Sometimes big ones. Rent or a mortgage doesn’t magically pay for itself. Then for some reason it takes food to live. And people charge money for that food. What’s up with that?
However, I’d argue these reasons above are actually NOT the biggest things holding us back.
What’s keeping us from pursuing our purpose is much more subtle, yet paralyzing.
Lack of Intentionality
Have you had those times when you’re driving in the car, and then you realize you can’t remember any part of the last fifteen minutes of the drive.
That’s scary stuff! Yet, we live our lives much in the same way. Which is even scarier!
Most days are spent stumbling and shuffling around without any clear idea where we’re headed. Or why we even started going in that direction in the first place.
All of us live intentionally. Problem is – most of us live intentionally unintentional.
We have this nagging feeling that something is eating at us, yet we don’t take the time to try and identify what it is.
It’s much easier to pretend problems don’t exist. Intentionality takes courage. It’s easy to sink and stay where it’s comfortable.
Yet, like ignoring a termite problem — just because you pretend they’re not there, doesn’t mean grandma’s oak nightstand is safe.
You have to stare your biggest problems, questions, and fears in the face and then intentionally do something about them.
Or not, and let the termites slowly eat everything around you.
2. Fear and Insecurities are Crushing Your Confidence
As I first wrote in 101 Secrets For Your Twenties, “Insecurities are just like Swamp Things. Just when you think you’ve escaped, they rise up for a surprise attack…Crush your insecurities before they crush you.”
Just because you grow up doesn’t mean you grow out of your insecurities. No, sometimes if you’re not careful, you grow into them.
I think we all struggle with this insecure feeling of “I don’t have what it takes” at some point. Even if it’s not exactly something we’re raving about on Facebook.
Yet, too often these insecurities, these fears of “what if I fail”, keep us stuck.
We let that voice, that “Liar”, keep us from stepping outside our comfort zone and pursuing our purpose.
But that voice is a lie.
You are good enough.
You have an unique flavor you bring to the world that no one else can. Sometimes we just need to tweak, experiment, hone, and own what exactly that Signature Sauce looks like and how it is best applied.
But you don’t ever completely get rid of fear. You start by doing something in the face of fear, and then the next time it’s a little less frightening.
And you know what, if you pursue something bigger than yourself, you will fail. It’s a given. So just take a deep breathe and give yourself the grace and space to fail, without calling yourself a failure.
You fail, learn, tweak, adapt, and do it again more strategically.
The biggest failure of lives would be if we never had any.
The possibility for greatness and embarrassment both exist in the same space.
3. Not Understanding Your “Why?”
Most of us are struggling to get what we really want in life because we’ve never actually defined what it is.
Or we’re living someone else’s “why”. We’re trying to duplicate someone else’s vision or trying to replicate someone else’s formula for success.
But to pursue something big, you have to understand deep in your bones why you’re doing it.
Most of the time that “why” is even rooted in your personal pain, problems, or challenges that you’ve had to overcome in your own life. You know what it feels like to struggle with something in a deeply personal way. So you’re passionate about helping others not have to face that same problem alone.
Defining, owning, and honing your “why” dynamites obstacles. Because there will be too much riding on what you’re pursuing to give it up without a fight.
When you know your “why”, failure doesn’t stop you. Failure just means you need to find another way.
4. Lack of Support and Community
I can’t stress enough how important it is to pursue your purpose in community. You can’t do this alone.
Living out your purpose is not done in isolation. You will only go as far as your relationships will carry you.
Every one of my meaningful and significant achievements in my life can be tied directly to a relationship.
What relationships do you have and what relationships do you need?
How do you figure out if you have more Rocket Booster Relationships or Anvil Relationships?
Your purpose — your Signature Sauce — doesn’t exist in a vacuum.
Your relationships can enhance and help bring your Signature Sauce to life.
Or they can burn it and leave you with that weird black stuff stuck to your life that you spend the next five years trying to scrape off.
Pursue your purpose on purpose with purpose.
Reminder: my Signature Sauce online program is currently open for enrollment for the first time in six months. Snag your spot in the Signature Sauce online course before it fills up.