Facebook is like a bad high school party — you don’t really want to be there, but feel like you have to go.
Every time you show up you hope it will be different. That you’ll actually hang out with cool people, connect with friends, and leave feeling alive. But in the end, you’ll go to bed wondering why you just wasted three hours of your life yet again.
Why is Facebook just like a bad high school party — so appealing, yet in the end, so lacking?
3 Reasons Why Facebook is Nothing More Than a Bad High School Party
1. The Corner Look-and-Lurk
A basement corner is pretty much the go-to position for any proper high school party. You swore you’d talk to more people. Or heck even build up the nerve to approach your crush, but like a bad sci-fi movie where the space ship gets pulled into a black hole, the corner look-and-lurk‘s pull is far too strong.
On Facebook it’s so much easier to lurk than engage.
“Wow, what is she wearing?”
“I didn’t know they were together?”
“Looks like someone’s drunk again.”
97.7% of all Facebook is spent in that same corner, lurking on those you swore you’d interact with. We spend so much time in the corner and then leave feeling like no one likes us.
We spend hours on Facebook, feeding our Obsessive Comparison Disorder with Miracle-Gro and then wonder why it’s grown so big.
2. Pseudo-Community
Facebook is pseudo-community at it’s finest. The appearance of community, without real conversation. The form of human interaction without ever speaking or looking anyone in the eye. The noise around you is blaring, so you say a quick comment before you’re shoved to something else.
It’s a miserable feeling being surrounded by thousands of people, all seemingly having an amazing time, when you couldn’t feel more alone.
Our generation is living in a paradox of connected isolation. Pseudo-communtiy all-around, while feeling very much alone.
3. We’ll Keep Going Back
Facebook, like the high school party, is Love/Hate at it’s finest. Like watching a bad reality TV show while eating potato chips, you just keep chowing down no matter how nauseous it makes you feel.
You know how the night is going to end up, and yet, you can’t help yourself from taking one more bite.
Quit Facebook?
Is that what I’m getting at?
Well, if Facebook makes us feel more anxious than alive.
If Facebook is a time-suck.
If Facebook is feeding our Obsessive Comparison Disorders with Miracle-Gro.
If Facebook is like holding that red plastic cup, your stomach beginning to churn as you wonder how the heck you ended up here again.
Well, then maybe it’s time we stop going.
Maybe at 9:17 pm when we feel the lure of human interaction, we should call a friend instead.
Maybe instead of spending so much time creating our Facebook PR spins to make our lives look virtually appealing, we should spend more time, you know, actually creating our lives.
It is also like a bad highschool party in that there is excessive amounts of bragging about the awesome things people do or have happen to them. I am (genuinely) glad for the happily coupled people but all the “look at the awesome thing my partner did for me today!” statuses and/or photos sometimes make being single that little bit harder. Likewise, while holiday snaps from exotic corners of the world can be interesting, on grey rainy days where the furthest you’ll travel is the office having a newsfeed full of them can seem like a bit of a taunt.
Thanks Joanna. Great points. Yeah, it’s so tempting to post the “Hey everyone look at me, I’m important” posts all the time. I’m definitely not immune.
I am married myself, but try to stay far away from Facebook as much as possible, checking it about once a month. I can get caught up easily in the comparison game or the whose kid is better looking or smarter trap. Totally agree that if people spent more time calling each other or emailing versus lurking/spying or throwing out quick, one liners on Facebook, there would be a lot more authentic, actually-fulfilling relationships. What’s so weird is that Facebook feels as though I am just ‘watching’ other people’s lives like a tv mini-series. I would much rather live my own to the fullest. Thank you for this much-needed article!
“Facebook feels as though I am just ‘watching’ other people’s lives like a tv mini-series.”
Love that line. So true! Thanks Matt. Yep, once kids are thrown in the mix, the level of comparison sky rockets
Well said my friend whom I have had a real life face to face conversation with! Very, very well said! Love this!
Ha. Thanks Jennifer!
I used to have fb. Here’s how I saw it. Imagine a whole bunch of people are in almost constant contact with each other. Because of the diversity of these people you have to careful what you say. What might amuse one person could tick off another (happened to me). Also, everyone talks in front of everyone else no matter how private the subject. People would declare thier love for each other. One Mom bawled out her son and told him what an idiot he was. Another Mom griped about being so mad at her husband for disciplining thier child. It was too much for me. A mental overload.
I read a statistic about how the more time people spend on facebook, the worse they feel about their own lives. It’s true because people post the highlights of their lives – the new cars, not the debt, the job promotion but nothing about the long hours it requires. It’s easy to start comparing and only leaves you feeling like everyone else is more accomplished or happier, etc etc. It is important to create one’s own life- limiting the time you spend on fb or in front of the TV in exchange for real memories and moments with those you love. 🙂
I wanted to share this article, but then I realized I don’t have a facebook account!! Yayy me!! When I had an FB account, the first thing I’d do after opening my browser is type “www.facebook.com” in the address bar. That is when I decided it needed to stop. I deleted(not deactivate) my account and now I find myself with all the time in the world. It’s been almost four months and I’m going strong..feels like I just went through some de-addiction course.
You really shouldnt be on facebook because what you say and do can hurt you and others that have all ready seen it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Mm yea, it is just like high school. I keep adding people thinking that maybe someone has changed or something, or perhaps I can reconnect with old friends. Sadly, I constantly learn that they have dumpstered their lives and hate me for really dumb or jealous reasons. I mean I hate to sound conceited…I am a little bit, but I’m from a small humbug town of people so bored that drama, drugs, and Facebook is the only thing they do between work and sleep.
I used to have a lot of fb friends, but then I lowered it down to like 50. And wouldn’t you know it, ever since then the fb divas don’t want anything to do with a “loser like me” lol. Yet when I post something, and I get 20 likes, thats almost 1/2 of my friends list. When they get 20 likes out of a 2000 friends.. yeah you get my point.
The worst is that people just don’t realize that if they only knew you at age 16, they don’t actually know you anymore just because they are on your friends list. Especially if you are like me who never posts anything.