This is our generations’ greatest question.
Heck, I’d say SETTLING is Millennials GREATEST FEAR – the thought of settling giving us nightmares. Like the time we watched Stephen King’s IT and slept with the nightlight until we were fourteen. (I still can’t look a clown in the eye).
The FEAR OF SETTLING
We’re the, I Can Do Anything, Get the Freak Out of My Way, Generation. We are the, I’ll-work-how-I-want, when-I-want, where-I-want, Generation.
Yet, what happens when our way becomes no way in hell?
What happens when Plan A is shredded like an old tax statement?
What happens when you’re working, well, just to work? You know, to pay those silly things called bills.
What happens when moving in with your parents, or a cardboard box, becomes your only two options?
What happens when it feels like you have two choices — to settle or not to settle?
The fear of settling swirling in your stomach like a blender turned on high, the expectations of the big life you envisioned pureed like a jar of baby food.
Yet, is to settle or not to settle actually the right question?
To Settle or Not to Settle?
Is That the Right Question?
Well, what is settling?
Is it taking a job just to pay the bills? Is it moving in with your parents? Is it some external setback?
Well, no, I don’t think so.
Our generation must not confuse setbacks for settling.
Sure many in our Millennial Generation might not be acting out our greatest dreams right now.
But we can settle for a season without settling.
Too many of us view pursuing our dream as this black and white proposition. Either we go for it or we let our dream die.
Yet, in reality those who are successful pursue their big dream, while at the same time, work their all-too-real job.
As I wrote in my book All Groan Up: Searching For Self, Faith, and a Freaking Job!:
You work at your job to feed you while you work at your dream. And you work at your dream to feed you while you work at your job.”
Setbacks Can Have Purpose
Dreams don’t happen void of setbacks, dreams happen as you push through a thousand of them.
Setbacks aren’t dream-killers, they are dream-refiners. (click to tweet that)
As I wrote in 101 Secrets For Your Twenties, “Sometimes frustration can be the best guide to leading you where you need to go.”
They only time you’ll really settle is if you completely give up. If you let your dreams be suffocated by your current reality and believe too many lies that twenty-somethings have bought into.
However, if I know our generation, I don’t see us throwing in the towel anytime soon.
Sure maybe we’ve joined forces with a not-so-glamorous life. Maybe we’re not going to be a feature article in our alumni magazine anytime soon.
But I think our generations most important characteristic is that we have the ability to stay optimistic, even when the world turns quite depressing.
So if it feels like you’re not where you want to be in life — that’s okay.
You can settle for a season without settling. You’re not settling. You’re visiting. This is a season, a stage, the perfect place in time to help us take a step to the next.
Life will never feel like it’s supposed to and that’s exactly how it’s supposed to be.
To settle or not to settle? It’s not the right question.