Is it wrong that some of us still cringe at the thought of being called the “A” word? Oh no you didn’t just call me an Adult.
I’m 27, married, with a new baby girl. And yet, I still feel like I’m growing up. I know I’m dangerously straddling some unspoken, cultural fence here. That before too long I’ll be the guy “real grown-ups” talk about in hushed, official sounding tones while lying in their mahogany, king size beds.
“I can’t believe Paul. Someone needs to tell him it’s time to grow up.”
“Yes, when is he going to act his age?”
“Exactly. Now please turn on C-SPAN and pour me a glass of port.”
ACT YOUR AGE
Now if I was 95 years old and failed to act accordingly, I would be an article in the local newspaper and neighbors would be asking me, How do you do it? with pen and paper poised to take notes.
Instead, concerned family friends are calling my parents and asking them – in relation to rearing a 27 year old child, how do you do it? (C’mon. Leave my parents out of this).
But I’ll ask the same question; how do we do it? How do we act our age? It’s a number, right? There are reasons why math and drama classes don’t join forces. We’re not asked to act the hypotenuse, so why are we asked to act our age?
If someone has the age dictionary that defines the parameters for 23, or 26, or 29 I’m all hairy, grown-up ears…
GROWING OR GROWN?
Is my longing to stay growing instead of grown, right? Is it smart to dig my feet in, refusing to cross the grown up line like a mule across a stream? Or am I just being that – a stubborn ass?
Well let me call in some other opinions, those smarter than I.
“With age come the inner, the higher life. Who would be forever young, to dwell always in externals?” Elizabeth Stanton
Well I must admit, I have no idea what the heck Ms. Stanton is saying here, which my lack of understanding, is probably proving her assessment quite accurate.
Then there’s Albert Einstein, who was pretty smart, I’m pretty sure, and he once told a friend,
“People like you and I, though mortal of course like everyone else, do not grow old no matter how long we live…[We] never cease to stand like curious children before the great mystery into which we were born.” Albert Einstein
But then you have the Apostle Paul of the Bible who told people to:
“Stop thinking like children…in your thinking be adults!” Apostle Paul
But then in the same Bible, there’s this guy named Jesus who kind of was, or is, a big deal and he said:
“I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” ~ Jesus
Okay, so you take adulthood, I’ll take heaven. Seems like a good trade to me.
WHO’S RIGHT?
Why does Jesus say we must become children, while the Apostle Paul tells us to stop?
Why do some say life gets better with age like a fine wine? Then you have Rod Stewart singing Forever Young?
Sure some argue against the teachings of Jesus, but how does one argue against the stylings of Rod Stewart?
This is getting confusing.
Do we need to grow up or stay down? Or maybe it’s both? An ancient German proverb says, “To remain young while growing old is the highest blessing.” Well the Germans have never been wrong before, so maybe they’re on to something.
So what do we let get wrinkly and what do we lather in anti-aging cream? What matures and what stays fresh?
Maybe we need to possess an intrinsic paradox of both – the growing and grown.
What do you think?
Are you growing or grown?
Or both?
Is ADULT a four letter word?
Watch below the video version of this post with some extra commentary, plus a cameo appearance from THE Rod Stewart as we sing Forever Young together!
I feel like people confuse being childlike and being immature. Or childlike faith and immature faith.
We need to stay childlike in our life and in our faith for several reasons. Children trust their father – that’s how Jesus wants us to trust him. We need to know that he is taking care of us, and there for us, and knows what is best. To simply trust and have joy in that trust is incredibly childlike and beautiful! Or even in life, I feel like being childlike is having fun, using our imaginations, and acting goofy sometimes.
This is different from being immature. You can be mature while still being childlike. Just because you have your inner-child doesn’t mean that you can’t act with maturity. Growing up means having more responsibility. Being immature would mean that you’re 30 and still partying all night and getting drunk and living in your parents basement while not attempting to find a job. Being childlike would mean that you have your responsibilities and “grown up things” but still having fun and being silly.
It’s a fine line I feel at times, but it’s one that we need to continue to struggle with.
I feel as though a person is never fully “grown up”. No matter what age we are, we are still learning and have things to learn. We are always growing and changing.
To the post above: well said. If I had just a tad more time I’d put my 2 cents worth to compliment Emily’s post above.
Thanks Rudy and Emily. Definitely some great points. I like the “be mature while being childlike” and the idea that we’re always growing and changing. I couldn’t agree more.
I believe we come into the world with a purpose…to be what we are going to be… the circumstance we are raised in: the good the bad and the ugly are what make us grow…the people we meet with other, the same or outrageous experience contribute to our growth as well. I agree we are never grown up…we should constantly grow… we should feel forever young, but we should constantly reflect to our childhood experiences, because our childhood experiences are our core skills, insight into a clear world without prejudices. When we experience different things in life we must be careful, because we pick other’s views up along the way…can be good, can be bad… we don’t know. We are all different but when your on a “team” you don’t want to be all the same you want differences that are trained to work together, that increases the “skills” of the team. just what I think… thank you for your articles..they kept my mind thinking and strategizing for the workshop i deliver, and it strengthens me and adds to the skills i offer the participants, the experience and the results, so they can continue their journey
Thanks Joanne. Great perspective.