Today I’m honored to introduce to you Gisselle Bodden. This is how Giselle described herself to me: “I currently do not have a website or even a Twitter account to plug. My lack of use of social media is very embarrassing. All of my free time is spent dancing Salsa and Bachata; attending random activities found through Group On and Living Social; and crying while watching The Voice. It’s a surprisingly emotional show.” I liked her right away.
I love when people meet me where I’m at. Right now, I’m lounging in the comfort of my old bedroom at my parents house in sunny West Palm Beach, FL. The alternative to this vacation week would have been to bust my butt-like I do every week-working 12-hour shifts at a very prominent production company while getting paid close to nothing.
Fun fact: Window cashiers at Taco Bell make more money than entertainment industry production assistants. This is not to downplay the excellent services offered by [some] Taco Bell employees, but to highlight that Hollywood is not all glamour.
My collegiate studies inspired me to want to become an illustrious screenwriter. I graduated a year early and decided to hit the ground running because I’d been told that the road to success is long. May 2012 I moved to LA. Since then I’ve discovered that I have an affinity towards writing, but my true passion lies in dance. Yes, I know. I’m all over the place. No, I’m not making this up.
In the past year:
- I have run into wall after wall in my job search. I’ve worked for free when I shouldn’t have. I’ve advised friends to help them get awesome full time jobs while I, ironically, remained unemployed. I have been a final candidate for entry level dream jobs (plural, multiple occasions), but was ultimately rejected each time.
- I have stumbled over every emotional obstacle in my most recent relationship. Let’s not go into detail about that monster roller-coaster just yet.
- I have fallen into every pit and sink hole that was open in regards to faith. Don’t worry I’m in a better place now.
However, to be brief, I’m a little beat up. I needed a breather. I needed to come home.
Creative Commons – Laura D’Alessandro
Home is great! It’s a pick-me-up – a reminder that life has the capacity to be regular, consistent, and comfortable. Comfortable. It’s great and comfortable until your family friend comes over and gushes about how her son started a successful business in Silicon Valley, and now has a spread on page 72 of Entrepreneur; and how her daughter is making buku money and living it up on South Beach. She’s two years older than me. No big deal.
Now let me be clear. Jealousy should NEVER be a motivator. Actions fueled by jealousy tend to end in tragedy and don’t provide the sense of fulfillment we all search for. I am glad to know that her family is doing well. Her kids are out in the world being awesome. If anything, good news should be infectious, contagious, and a solid kick in the pants.
Let good beget good! There is more life to be had! More dreams to be chased! More puzzles to be solved! I cannot see the big picture of my life just yet, but I’m holding on to the precious pieces that fit together correctly so far.
Also, I can’t say that our family friend didn’t meet me where I was at today. She may not have noticed that I was on the bench, nursing wounds of the past year. Probably because I wasn’t flaunting my hurt around. Yet, her good news was like another punch in the face saying that you’ve got to get up before you get stuck in your comfort zone. It’s safe there for a while but you can’t stay there forever. I’m sure her son had to push some boundaries to get his business going. Her daughter had to hustle like any other youth before she found her current job.
So, next week I’ll be back in L.A. to continue figuring out who I am and what I really want.
In all, it can be difficult, but it is wise to let the good news of others ignite you. Let it burn you out of your comfort zone. (No, that does not mean I’m going to set my parents’ house on fire.) If you need a break or some rest, go home or wherever your physical comfort zone may be. Get it because you’ll need it. Just don’t become paralyzed. Keep it moving.
Where are you now? Where are you going? I’d love to meet you there.
this was by far my favorite post you’ve ever made. you were vulnerable and honest, and i thank you for that. i, too, work in production and to say the least — i get it. PAing is tough but never regret even a milisecond of the time i spend on set. we all have to start somewhere.
thanks for blogging as you do 🙂
Awesome. Thanks Lauren! It was probably the best because I didn’t write it 🙂 This is all Giselle’s magic on this one.
Thank you Lauren. Yes, PAing is tough but keep pushing it. People like me are rooting for you!
I agree that sometimes you need is home and find myself wishing I had my simple lifestyle from when I was with my parents. I have been rejected from my dream job recently. It is an emotional roller coaster. It is good that you are focusing on the stepping stones to where you want to be. The path may be at times rocky, but it is worth it in the end. I did not land my dream job, but I know I am getting to where I need to be.
I completely agree that you cannot compare your life to your friends or families. Everyone has their own pace and passions out of life. It is good to be driven to know you are putting yourself out there and trying on your own. Sometimes you only hear the good from others when in reality they struggled as well.
Love this post…thank you. My husband has been chasing his dream for the past 3 years as a volunteer collegiate baseball coach. Like Paul mentioned in his “lousy job” post the other day, it’s a nice reminder that we aren’t the only ones going through stuff like this. And we aren’t the only ones surrounded by people who seem to have it all figured out by 23 🙂
Yeah those other 23 year olds are the worst! 😉 Just kidding! Sooner or later things will fall into place. I’ve also learned patience is a key element. I’m crossing my fingers for both you and your husbands dreams to come to fruition sooner.
Crazy how serendipity works. I just returned home this week after spending a year in Philly trying to establish myself. I applied for jobs I knew I wasn’t ready for and for jobs I know for damn certain I should’ve gotten. I even applied for jobs I had no business applying to out of desperation. I read somewhere that whatever you’re going through someone somewhere is going through the exact same thing. I told myself yea right. But everything you’ve listed above I’ve experienced. Unlike you, I’ll most likely be home for the summer. It’s taking a lot of strength to reframe this return home and to manipulate the challenges that come with it. I’m still in the uncertainty phase and waiting for things to settle but my vision is to return to Philly in the next 3 months.
This sounds so much like me! I applied to jobs I didnt feel qualified for to jobs I felt over qualified for to crazy random jobs that had nothing to do with my degree with little to no response. I recently moved back in my parents for the summer, I’m right there with your uncertainty
Nichole, I totally feel you on this. Regrouping is refreshing and challenge in itself. I really hope your time back at home will empower you and give you the energy to fight once again, not if, but when you return to Philly. Best wishes for you!
Here’s to following dreams! I have a master’s degree in occupational therapy, and my husband has a master’s in nursing. Both of our life goals are/were to help people live better, healthier lives. We both graduated last year and are newly-weds struggling to make time for each other.
His current job is killing him slowly (literally, if you consider the 145/75 blood pressure he sustains during his shifts), and while I enjoy my job(s) (I work two part time jobs) they are stressful and I still don’t have a full case load of patients (ie, I don’t make a full-time paycheck either) after 8 months of working, and may not have one until after a year. My husband is looking to return to grad school for a second time in the next few years to totally change fields. So he gets to start over in a career path at around age 32.
My point being this; the background on my laptop and my work computer reads “Comparison is the thief of joy”. Because comparison hit me hard once we started working, especially with beloved facebook throwing images of friends’ new houses/puppies/children/vacation/fancy dinners at us 24/7, reminding us how “behind” we feel.
So, my current goal is to be thankful for every moment of every day. And finish Ann Voskamp’s 1000 Gifts, which is a life-changer and is helping me maintain that attitude 🙂
Sarah, I agree. Cheers to following dreams and taking life one step at a time! Your current goal is perfect because it’s something YOU want to accomplish. Good luck to your husband and 1000 Gifts sounds like a great devotional. I’ll check it out myself!
Yes! Love 1000 GIfts. Highly suggest it for those all of ages…my mom-in-law gave it to me as a gift after she read it.
Gisselle, I absolutely love this post! So honest and open. I’ve been dealing with similar feelings lately as far as where my life is at, job success, sometimes feeling like a failure…(I know I’m not, but you know how feelings go!). I just appreciate that there’s somebody else out there talking about it like this.
As for your getting into dance – I think that’s awesome!! I’m a writer too, but I’ve also recently realized that my one of my passions is singing and writing songs! Lol. I think we all have these hidden parts of ourselves that we discover at some point. There’s so many facets to who we are, and society is often so success driven that it’s never really talked about much or expressed.
Anyway, great post! And thanks Paul, for hosting it. 🙂
I am going through this now! After graduating in December with a B.A. in media arts emphasis audio engineering, I was sure I’d land an entry-level job but only held a part time job till my lease ran out. I’m now back in my parents house hopefully…only for the summer while I begin lifeguard to make some cash to pursue my dream job. I’m hoping to land a paid internship for the fall, production is a hard field to get into for sure.
It definitely is hard not to compare my life/success with my friends and fellow college peers. It is nice to hear or read things like this to help me realize I’m not the only one who doesn’t have it figured out!
Hey Tanya! Thank you! Being realistic and transparent in writing and in daily life has been really helpful for me to process feelings. I can’t smile all the time – it makes my cheeks hurt! I hope you continue to pursue your song writing and vocal talents, and all the things that make you smile genuinely.
Congratulations on your degree Lindsey! I realize you received it months ago but it’s still something you should be proud of and should serve as a reminder that you have IT in you to accomplish more. Production is hardly a linear field and one of the hardest to penetrate. As long as we keep trying we will all find our place.
So happy we can all relate! 🙂