I don’t know if you’re the same way, but I never feel like I’ve done enough.
I could’ve worked harder. Could’ve been more organized. Could’ve made more money. Could’ve impacted more people. Could’ve been a better dad, husband, and friend.
Could of, should of, and seriously, what’s wrong with me — the narrative I run through my head daily.
Are you the same? Or are you one of these people who actually live at peace with yourself? (weirdo)
No, seriously, I want to live at peace too, while still challenging myself. I don’t want to creep and crawl towards every new year feeling like my year resembled crap on a stick.
So let me ask us all this important question —
What if your year was actually much better than you think?
What if we accomplished some big things this year, we just simply don’t give ourselves the freaking credit for it?
Sometimes finding vision is simply about removing all the crap blocking your view. (click to tweet that)
What if instead of approaching the new year with the long list of things we suck at, we made a list of things we did well this year that we want to build upon.
Rip up the New Year’s Resolution and Do This Instead…
For another website I write for, the wonderful Life After College created by Jenny Blake, they asked me to list out things I accomplished in 2016 for their end of the year newsletter.
I then of course put it off because I didn’t want to think about my year and start eating a tube of raw cookie dough dipped in a tub of icing (it happens. Stop judging me.)
Then when I finally sat down and started putting accomplishments down from my year, you know what, I was shocked how much good stuff was on my list!
I worked with and spoke at some big companies like Aflac, Wells Fargo, and Stewart Title on engaging and retaining Millennials.
I launched a three-year dream — my online course Finding Your Signature Sauce and people have achieved some amazing results from it.
And the publisher of 101 Secrets For Your Twenties just told me that 101 Secrets just had it’s best month ever this November 2016 — two and half years after it came out! That doesn’t typically happen and I’m crazy thankful that the book has found a life of it’s own.
Oh, and my family moved half-way across the country and we had another kid! A boy this time to go along with my two daughters, which I was slightly excited about.
Sure, the year wasn’t perfect. But really, is it supposed to be?
Perfect only exists in the dictionary.
But heck, it was a pretty dang good year and I’m blessed beyond belief.
And for 2017, I want to take what went well and build on it. I want to take those ingredients from my Signature Sauce and heighten the flavor.
Instead of focusing on everything that I suck at, I want to focus on what I’m good at and can do even better.
Because you now what — I’m a squatty 5 ’11 Italian and I’m not built to run a marathon. It ain’t going on my list.
I’m never going to be super organized, so I’m not going to beat myself up for it and create some insane resolution that will only feel like a huge drain on my energy.
We need to stop resembling the nightly news — focusing on the isolated terrible things that happen.
Let’s focus on the good and more good will come.
Let’s stop acting like the sky is falling and start making it rain ourselves.
You with me?
So right now I give you permission to give yourself credit where credit is due.
In the comments section on this article, share some of the successes you had this year. I know you had some. Force yourself to think about it. Write down a few successes and then how you want to build on them for 2017.
I’ll pick my favorite 1-2 responses in the comments and send you signed, free copies of both my books — 101 Secrets For Your Twenties and All Groan Up to jump start your 2017.
Let’s Celebrate the Good of 2016 and Take Off in 2017
I’ll start. I plan to launch and take another cohort through Signature Sauce in January.
And I’m working on two new books that I’m really excited about! One book that is similar in style to 101 Secrets For Your Twenties and I know will impact even more people. Then the second book — a fiction story about a midwestern high school boy named Fanny who loves opera music. Can’t wait to have you meet Fanny…
Yes, we all experience challenges and setbacks. But we will never feel blessed if we never give the blessing any credit.
So go ahead, share some successes in the comments and how you plan to grow them in 2017.
Your year was better than you think if you’ll just stop and think about it. And heck, if we keep thinking this way maybe 2017 is going to be even better.
A few of my successes this year: I graduated from Smith College (historically all-women’s) this May with a Bachelor of Arts in Philosophy and Africana Studies. I finally got the help I needed for managing my depression symptoms (e.g. medication and therapy). I worked (albeit for a short stint) at a part-time job and gained customer service experience. I went to India for a Buddhist philosophy course sponsored by my school [and found my first love on the program :)]. I finished my honors thesis for my philosophy major. These are my major successes, and I thank you for letting me share them. And thank you for listing your accomplishments; I was deeply inspired. Cheers to a marvelous 2016 and best wishes for 2017! 🙂
Congrats Gabriella! These are big things, especially finding help with managing depression symptoms. It takes courage to talk about places in your life that have felt the most vulnerable. Congrats on graduating and all the amazing experiences. Can’t wait to see how you build off of these in 2017!
What a timely article! I have absolutely been cataloging all the things I didn’t do this year for the past week and a half (at least) – but there have been HUGE successes! I produced some of my best work this year with the kind of consistency that has me convinced I’m actually quite good at what I do (the success is the confidence!), raised my prices, am in the middle of a rebrand that I really think is going to be fantastic when it launches, AND we bought a house! Phew! So glad to reflect on that and realize how much I have to be grateful for!!
Amazing Kacie! Don’t know if you took the recent Quiz I launched on”What Kind of Millennial Are You?” but it sounds like you’re a Blazing My Own Path Millennial. What kind of work are you doing?
Hey Paul!
Thank you for the timely post! It touched upon a lot of stuff I’ve been thinking about myself lately — I know I definitely have a tendency to dwell on the stuff that didn’t go so great or went unfinished without celebrating the successes.
My biggest example is grad school, which hasn’t been all I expected it to be and has forced me to ‘pause’ some other pursuits of mine. But hey, I got through the year with straight A’s, no debt, and learned about some intriguing topics that may be useful in the future. Sometimes it’s all about perspective and embracing the season we’re in! Plus, I got to visit the White House for a work project, travel to Philadelphia and see some of my favorite historical sites, ran my first 5K and signed up for a half marathon early next year that has helped me log more running miles this year than I ever have.
The more I think about it, the more that old Frank Sinatra lyric keeps popping up in my head: “It was a very good year”!
Merry Christmas, my friend!
Way to go Joel! No debt and straight A’s sounds like resounding success to me! I know my masters program put a giant halt on my outside dreams as well, but then it also enhanced them as well as All Groan Up was a byproduct of my masters program. You never know where this is all leading and how the pieces are slyly coming together.
This year I left an emotionally and mentally draining job and moved 1500 miles across the country to be closer to my family in the Midwest. I am so thankful for the decision I made because I am so relieved to be in my new job! In 2017, I hope to buy my first home and welcome a new niece or nephew (parents aren’t finding out until the due date). I want to be the best Aunt to my nieces and nephews I can be! I also would like to get more involved in community organizations and start doing things for my community outside of work!
That’s great MaryJo! Having moved halfway across the country as well, I know what a daunting challenge that can be. Congrats on taking the leap and moving into a healthier situation to thrive in for 2017
Well, this year, i finally
got to live my dream, even if for a short while, of making music, and it turns out I’m really great at it. I also had a brief spell at a job that really gave me some great little experience
Wonderful Bunie! Why were you able to do it for just a short time?
Hello Paul!
Thank you so much for the email! It really lifted my spirits and I had a few laughs!! I really liked that your email said let’s focus on what we did this year that was successful, instead of focusing on the negative, which we so often tend to do!
I wanted to comment and share about my successes this year. In February I left California and I joined a program called AmeriCorps National Civilian Community Corps (NCCC), which is a 10 month long national service program for 18-24 year-olds. I joined a year after graduating from college. I served in Iowa, Michigan, Minnesota, and Indiana on a team of 10. I traveled with my teammates to all of these places, and we worked for 6-8 weeks in each community on various projects. In Iowa we did maintenance projects, such as building retaining walls, a sidewalk, and painting for a place called Tanager Place, who provides care to children and families. In Michigan we worked with United Way of the Lakeshore and the Boys and Girls Club of Muskegon and did a lot of community development. This involved working with kids in a summer program, working with the City of Muskegon, and also working with the local Land Bank. In Minnesota we worked at YMCA Camp Miller and fixed up their hiking trails, renovated two existing cabins, and built a 3/4 mile long mountain bike trail from scratch. Lastly, in Indianapolis, Indiana we worked at a camp called Jameson Camp, doing environmental education, outdoor education, and challenge courses with kids from schools in the surrounding area. We served over 2,000 kids.
This year was challenging to say the least. I was pushed to my limits physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I faced challenges individually (getting sick multiple times throughout the year, other physical challenges), and we faced challenges as a team. Working, eating, sleeping, traveling, and working out with the same 10 people every day for 10 months can be very challenging! But overall, this experience was more rewarding than ever. I can say that I have grown so much from my time in AmeriCorps NCCC, and I gave back to my country. I can say that I have left my mark on so many places and on so many people this year. I have touched their lives, and they have forever touched mine.
I wanted to share this with you Paul, as it was a very … unique experience! I hope you enjoyed reading a bit about it.
I am so proud of all that I have accomplished this year, but I am especially proud that I completed the program, received the President’s Congressional Award for 100+ hours of independent service (outside of our required 1700 hours to graduate from the program), and was recognized as Corps Member of the Round for Round 3 by my Team Leader.
Again, thank you for reading, Paul! I throughly enjoyed reading your book, and I enjoy receiving your email updates with uplifting and encouraging content. 🙂
Wow, that’s amazing Sarah! Congrats on your successful, challenging year working through Americorp. That’s awesome. Definitely sounds like you not only accomplished a lot, but what you accomplished was extremely meaningful.
Thank you, Paul. 🙂
Mabuhay! Greetings from the Philippines, Paul. Congratulations to you and to all of us for a year filled with accomplishments.
Coming from the other side of the globe, where I believe people have only heard of now due to a blitz of negative news about drug killings “endorsed” by our President, well while that is never true, let me say that we, the majority of Filipinos are actually having a better goverment since. I hope you can visit our country one day Paul and as well as the other readers and e-mail me so I can guide and host you.
Meanwhile, my journey this year is tougher than imagined. At 24, in a developing country where most of millenials are living with their parents, not spending for rent or student loans compared to Western country culture, where it can be assessed that local workforce are actually enjoying some life of bliss spending their earnings on traveling, gadgets and posing fancy photos on Facebook, well I chose to do otherwise (but still encouraging my millenial buddies to consider investing and saving up)!
Besides some amazing events that occured to me for the year like parasailing, cliff-diving, joining three running events, learning how to drive, being invited as speaker in my school, spending life at an apartment, launching a pet project business, having 50%, stocks earnings, preparing for an engagement with an eight year partner –my proudest one is quiting the most ideal job (with commissions, quarter bonus, allowances, car provisions and travel opportunities) for (drum roll… Tada!) pursing my masterals degree where I’ve been experimenting on the potential of coffee as an antimicrobial against multidrug-resistant bacteria.
Foolish, I know. I have not been employed for few months know and relied on my savings to fulfill one of my life’s work. Received criticisms here and there but still believed in the purpose that in the future these little acts will make “ripple effects” (borrowing words from one of your posts, Paul).
In this painful journey of scientific research, I have learned who am I, what can I do for others, how much help I really needed and how much I am still loved by my friends, family and partner even at my lowest times. It’s been a roller-coaster ride, some days I am cynical, then I pick up some self-help books or browse through your blog and rise again.
Now I am on my journey towards finding a different career and exploring broader paths, rather than getting linear with working overseas (it’s common for our culture to work abroad, you’ll meet Filipinos almost everywhere in the world, our manpower is one of our proudest contributions to global economy). I’m bringing with me these lessons I’ve learned from my list of 2016 failures and successes.
Lastly, I’m ending this lengthy post by sincerely thanking you Paul and the readers here for the inspiration and for always challenging my conventional beliefs and offering alternatives. Thank you for making me feel I am not alone in this quest, even if we’re continents apart. I wish us all the best in life in years to come.
Much love,
Wis
Thanks Wis! Wonderful to receive this love from the Phillipines. Great hearing about your plans for the upcoming year and the vision you’ve created for yourself. Thank you for being a uplifting reader here at All Groan Up! Keep “rippling” Wis!
It’s weird and funny but at the start of 2016, all I wanted to do was to lose weight. Fast track to the ending months of 2016, I did it, Paul. I lost 8 pounds. Granted, it was a small feat but the journey going there was definitely surprising even to me. At first, I ran around the village then eventually took up yoga, cardio and meditation and went pescatarian (even without prior planning). All of these just happened in a natural progression.
Also, I am planning to pursue further studies and did a few things in order to prepare and get that done by getting myself into a review center, and doing all the necessary requirements to make that happen.
Funny, that in my twenties, I had a hard time dating. Don’t get me wrong though, I have had my office crushes and decided to like someone even if things would not work out in the end. That only confirmed to me the saying that, “it is better to have loved and not loved at all.”
Presently, I am also more open to challenging myself in terms of my career and actually trying out new fields where I did not even know I can take such as Online English Teaching, even for a little while.
Amusingly, this year I surprised even myself.
Thanks, Paul, for giving us the space to be reminded that 2016 was all a progressive year for us.
Wonderful Teri! It’s funny how things work out much differently than we ever could’ve planned, yet somehow so much better in the long run. Excited for you and the path you’re on!
Hey Paul,
I am very happy to have signed up to receive your write-ups and very grateful to you, cause, almost all the time your subject line seem to be ‘just the answer’ to the then thoughts which would be eating up my mind.
“Your year was better than you think…” is no exception.
I am in my late 20’s, a single mother of a beautiful 4 year old, from India.
My accomplishments this year,
I had worked hard to get back in track, emotionally, and build on my self-esteem to get a job that made me little more financially independent.
With my new job, I was able to spend quality-time with my daughter.
I had to move a different state for my new job. Even though it was a shift back to the place I grew up in, i.e.,to my parents place, I had done it hoping that it would help me with the bigger leap of moving to the US. My hopes and dreams are still fresh and new, looking forward that it will ultimately come true in 2017.
I had kick-started the work on the development of my new app/site. Hoping to see the results of the work in a wonderful way in 2017.
I had enrolled myself in a professional painting course, which had been my dream from my childhood.
I had joined in a dance class along with my daughter, which is what she has always wanted (loves to do everything along with me).
I had finally taken professional help from a psychologist for making sure that I’m sane even after all the turbulence, in the past few years. Hoping to turn over a new leaf in my personal life in 2017.
This is my first ever write-up in a forum. I think i can add this up in the list of accomplishments too ;p.
Wow, Ysh! I’d say that’s a pretty monumental list of accomplishments. Congratulations! Sounds like you have more perseverance and courage in your left pinky than I do in my whole body 🙂 Thank you for sharing your story here at All Groan Up. Here’s to a great 2017!
I always enjoy your posts. It’s so true that we need to look at the positives instead of what we don’t have. It’s funny I was just realizing that this week and then your article came out. Sometimes it is the journey that is better then the destination. I’m happy I launched my Disney world fan page this year and it has been growing each month at Facebook.com/wdwmagicflorida. Keep up the great work you do and I look forward to the next email.
Way to go Tim. Congrats on launching your dream this year.
Hey Paul, thanks for another great email and article. It serves as a great reminder that we always have to focus on the positives.
Well, 2016 has been a quite monumental year for me. One of the bigger things I’ve accomplished this year was graduating from college. 4-years of late night studying and cramming definitely paid off haha. On top of that. I was even fortunate enough to have the opportunity to speak at graduation in front of 10,000 people. It was an amazing learning experience, and I’m sure it will be one of the highlights of my life. No doubt.
Other than these big things, I’ve also noticed that I’ve made some small but important accomplishments this year. I reached out to some of the friends in my college ministry that I didn’t have a chance to get to know better in the past, and asked them out on “bro dates”. You know, it’s not something a typical guy would do, but I’m glad I did it. I got to know these guys in a deeper level and I’ve learned a lot from them. There’s certainly something really special about having “guy talks”. The more I talked to them. I more I feel like God put these people in my life for a reason. It’s just so cool to see how God uses people in our lives to speak to us and to guide us.
2017 is almost upon us, and I can’t really say I’m super excited about it. Life has been so different after college and I’m still having a hard time adjusting to it. But hey, I’m getting there.
Congrats Dixon! Sounds like a year to remember. Way to go reaching out to people and intentionally hanging out. So important, especially as you navigate the ambiguity that can feel like life after college. Keep at it my friend and I hope I can keep encouraging you along the journey here at All Groan Up.
Thanks so much for this one, Paul. I can relate to so much of your writing, especially this article. I’m always feeling like there’s more I coulda done and never seem to get through my to-do list, but if I take a step back, 2016 was a breakthrough year for me by all standards.
In fact, NONE of what I’m doing now existed in January (or even February). I launched my personal brand/website, started my podcast, met some amazing people and grew my network (including you ;D), got out of debt, being pretty much broke and not knowing how I was going to make money, almost “ran away” from it all to becoming grateful for everything I have where I am, met an amazing girlfriend, became the co-owner of my house, landed a “job” with one of my role models online and soon to be making more than i would have in my corporate job!
Looking forward to taking everything I’ve learned this year, simplifying and creating an even better 2017. Thank you for all you do and all you are.
Thanks Bryan! You’re a great example of the amazing things that can happen when you’re actively and intentionally pursuing your dream and helping people in an authentic way along the journey. Keep it up man!
Thanks everyone for the wonderful comments and updates! Very exciting to see how there was a TON of great stuff that happened this year. Everyone left amazing comments and I’ll be in touch through email with the two people who we chose to receive a copy of 101 Secrets For Your Twenties and All Groan Up. Here’s to an amazing 2017!
Hello everyone. I found a job that pays slightly more than my last job and I’m happier. I completed Signature Sauce and discovered I am most alive when serving, leading, and developing others. 🙂
Yes! So glad to hear this Tanisha and am proud of you.