9 Signs You’re Addicted to Your iPhone

iPhone-Addiction Picture


Obviously the iPhone is the best thing to happen to us since AOL chat rooms.

But do you ever have the feeling that you don’t actually own your iPhone? No, your iPhone owns you.

I know I have.

The iPhone has become my Groan Up Pacifier and I don’t want to need it to help me fall asleep.

Here’s nine  humorous signs you might have an iPhone addiction and one idea that could reduce the side effects.


iPhone-Addiction Picture

iPhone from The Noun Project


9 Signs You Are Addicted to Your iPhone

1. You start praying for green lights to turn red.

2. It’s not an unusual scenario to have your iPhone in one hand, and toilet paper in the other. (Note to Self: Never borrow an iPhone)

3. More than 73% of your emails end with “Sent from my iPhone. Please excuse any typos”

4. More than 73% of your “human interactions” take place with your iPhone intermediary.

5. More than 73% of all your steps are done staring down at your rectangular beacon of light. (aka you’ve walked across an entire intersection without looking up. double aka you’ve crossed an entire intersection before noticing that you were actually crossing an entire intersection).

6. In meetings you think you’re an I.L.S — iPhone Lap Sleuth, and that no one notices that you’ve been intensely staring down at your crotch for the last twenty minutes. (Note to Self: Probably better they think you’re staring at your iPhone than anything else. You might want to transition your iPhone to the table, making sure people notice, just so there is no doubts otherwise).

7. It’s a daily occurrence to be having an in-person conversation with someone and you don’t even notice that your iPhone has emerged from your pocket and has taken control of the conversation. And the only reason you get away with it is that the person you’re talking to has been taken over by their iPhone as well, putting you in an iPhone Stand Off, the loser being the first one to talk first. Loser.

8. When you here that sweet, sweet ding that you’ve just received a tweet or text message, and you cannot focus on anything else until that “LOL, too funny” has been eye-beheld. The soft ding as all-encompassing as a gigantic tower cathedral bell playing in your living room. You will drop your lunch, your deadline, your kid, all to make sure that ding is answered within 30 seconds or less.

9. If I concluded this article by saying we should all give up our iPhones for a week to help break our addiction, you would never read All Groan Up again.

iPhone Addiction Cure

I’ve begun to ask myself just one question and it’s helped curb my iPhone addiction — “Is what I’m looking at my phone for more important than what I’m choosing to look away from?”

Is checking that tweet more important than looking straight at 75 mph?

Is seeing how many “Likes” I’ve received on the photo of my kids more important than finishing the story I am reading to them?

Is the person on the screen more important than the person sitting across from me?

I don’t want my iPhone’s perceived importance to trump what actually is.

I would love to hear from you in the comments below:

What’s another sign you might be addicted to your iPhone?

Do you have any tips for limiting your addiction?



  1. Sydney Aaliyah Michelle

    I need help because this is so me. I didn’t realize I was in so deep. Thanks Paul for holding up the mirror.

    • admin

      Ha. Thanks Sydney. I only know these are true from personal experience.

  2. Nalini

    Ha! Writing this comment while driving 50mph.:)

    • admin

      Nailini, no matter how awesome All Groan Up is, it can wait 🙂 Kudos to you for being able to throw on a smiley face at 50 mph though…

    • Jake Fukk

      I hope that is not true.

  3. Amy Lynn

    Ah, you’ve caught me…

    I actually deleted the facebook app from my iphone and that has helped to curb my addiction a bit…

  4. Golden Orange Glitter

    Thanks this is just what I needed to read.I just thought of how I was addicted to my Iphone thanks!
    Nice details and example bye the way 🙂

  5. Name

    Another thing will commenting yo use that little get box that says notify me of following comments via email RESIST THE TEMPTATION TO CLICK IT it’s just maybe the less emails your getting the les you will want to chek them

  6. Shirley

    Another sign is when you catch up with family or friends and you have your phone on the table and constantly check it every 5 minutes in between what they’re saying. In fact you don’t even notice it until they stop talking and ask you, do you need to get that?

  7. Jake Fukk

    More and more people are running away from the here and now. Just like most drug users.

  8. Anonymous

    My older sister is on her phone 24/7. It annoys me so much how she will just be texting on it when we are at a restaurant or just spending time with the whole family.

  9. Hannie

    I love my iPhone! I remember when it broke and I had to use my mom’s Samsung Galaxy and it was TORTURE! I don’t think I’ll ever switch to Android.
    Me and my iPhones (Yes I have 2, an old one and a newer one and an iPod) have been in a relationship since 2009 and I don’t know how I’d live without them!

  10. Philip Robinson

    Another form of behavioral addiction – all designed to part you with money.


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