My day had resembled Hell’s second cousin — drama and politics at work. Crying babies at home. My wife and I both so exhausted and stressed that just one wrong look at each other could start WWIII.
So at exactly 9:15 pm, I was going to do it.
I’d made up my mind.
I was going to devour a piece of cheesecake. Heck, probably even two. I deserved it.
But with cheesey-goodness on my plate and excitement trembling through my fork, I made a huge mistake. I glanced at the Nutrition Facts.
35 Grams of Fat. THIRTY-FIVE-FREAKING-GRAMS.
And with all 35 grams looking up and telling me, everything will be OK once you take that first bite, I had an epiphany. A slap-across-the-face-realization that compelled me to put down my fork and seriously re-think how I make decisions. Both cheesecake and non-cheesecake related.
What 35 Grams of Fat Taught Me
I definitely “deserved” that piece of cheesecake. I’d earned it with my crappy day. But I realized at that moment — the piece of cheesecake didn’t care.
All 35 grams of fat, sitting together smoking cigarettes as they waited to be deployed to do their job, didn’t give a Jenny-Craig’s-behind that I had a lousy day. The 35 grams of fat didn’t care that I “deserved” to consume them.
No, once I ate the piece of cheesecake they were going to do what they do best — fill my love handles to resemble the tube of cheese from whence they came.
Good day, terrible day, eaten with a fork or eaten with a spoon, none of it mattered.
But, I Deserve It…
Fork resting on my plate, I started thinking of all the times I live by, “I deserve it“.
I deserve to act like an a-hole after the terrible day I just had.
I deserve to watch TV instead of play with my two-year old.
I deserve to surf the web at work after that brutal meeting.
I deserve to complain from the mountain tops about a crappy economy, lack of opportunities, and the hard-road that so many twentysomethings are struggling on.
I, we, deserve it, dammit!
Entitlement. You Sneaky Son of a…
Entitlement is a sneaky, sexy, seductive trap.
It lures you in. Rubs your shoulders. Gives you big pieces of cheesecake. Tells you to let it all out. Because of course you deserve it.
But entitlement is a trap.
Entitlement convinces you that somehow you’ve “earned the right” to make one huge mistake after another. But a mistake is a mistake is a mistake…
Your waistline doesn’t care about your terrible day that prompted you to binge.
Your credit card company doesn’t care that you deserved those three new pairs of boots. And those designer jeans.
Your hangover doesn’t care that you deserved to get smashed after the awful week you just had.
The person reading your resume doesn’t care how expensive your degree was and how much you deserve this job.
Entitlement lies to you that somehow you’re owed something that you never paid for. Like walking into a bank and expecting them to give you money just because you showed up.
Entitlement is One Ugly Monster
Have you ever spent time with a friend or family member who wears entitlement like a scarf? Who makes it clearly known that they deserve X, Y, and ample amounts of Z.
And do you feel compelled to give them that thing that they “deserve”?
Nope. Probably not. Most of the time you’ll do everything you can to keep it from happening.
Because when we act like the world owes us something, the world finds funny ways to give us even less. People who make a difference in this world don’t act like they deserve to make an impact. No, they just make one.
Entitlement is a seductive trap. But in the end, it will always leave us wanting more cheesecake.
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Thank goodness I’m not a cheesecake fan 🙂
Very interesting subject you raise.
Where do you think that sense of entitlement comes from? And why is Generation Y (I think unfairly) labeled as seeming an entitled group?
Ha. Thanks Reggie. Cheesecake (and about 57 other deserts) have a soft spot in my heart! (and create a giant soft spot as my stomach 🙂
Great question about Gen Y and I agree. I think the key difference is that Gen Y grew up empowered, which can fuel entitlement but is not always the case.
I write about this more here if you want to check out:
The Truth about Gen Y and Blue Ribbons https://allgroanup.com/adult/the-truth-about-geny-and-blue-ribbons/
Excellent post Paul. Perhaps an overwhelming sense of entitlement and indulgence across the US, including the government, is what got this economy into the mess it us in in the first place. And you’re right, indulgence and entitlement never leave you feeling satisfied. I always felt worse afterwards. Gluttonous somehow. Guilty. Thanks for the really important reminder to stay humble.
Thanks Josh. Great points. Entitlement is sneaky because it becomes such a way of life that I don’t think any of us would say that we act that way, when the odds are most of us are wrong.
Entitlement becomes embedded and then it becomes the norm.
What a great post. I had never really thought of that, but its true…common sense strikes again. But just one request, can you follow up with your thoughts on what our attitude should be, not just what we shouldn’t feel or how we shouldn’t act, but what we should be doing instead. Once we remove that sense of entitlement, what should we fill the vacuum with? If that line of reasoning makes sense….
@Paul: Thanks for the sharing the article. And now I have some thoughts I’m going to write on the comment thread about that! 🙂
When I hear people dismiss Gen Y as entitled I automatically get the impression that person isn’t informed on who Gen Y really is. I don’t always share my opinion with that person, but that’s the thought that usually arises.
@Gloria: You also got me thinking. I thought about it for a large part of today and here’s my answer: http://freshwisdomonline.com/genyattitude/
I’ll never look at cheesecake the same way again. Thank you 🙂
Ha. Thanks Cheri
This is an interesting post and everything you said here is true. Everyone experiences this even if some of us don’t admit it. Control and discipline is really important and you should always prioritize your health.
Shoving cheesecake in my face as we speak. Please don’t hurt me 🙂