Nothing says college graduation like receiving tons.of.terrible.advice!
At your graduation party usually the father of a roommate or an uncle twice removed, The Grad Party Downer’s one goal is to corner you with a piece of cake and ask you enough probing questions, and give you “real world advice” until you feel like there’s a rather large butcher knife in your quickly deflating grad balloon.
I wrote about the Top 14 college graduation songs over the last 40 years and then the Top Five Things We Should’ve Heard at College Graduation. Now let’s talk about the seven WORST TIPS we give college grads.
7) So…what are your plans for the future?
It’s not a tip per say, but a question asked with enough smirk that you know he’s going to enjoy watching your desperate attempt to spin I have no freakin clue.
The future?! Hell if I know. My goal was to graduate. I accomplished that goal. The future scares me more than finding a four-foot clown hiding in my closest.
6) I heard of this thing called Craigslist where you can find jobs
A bed frame? Yes. A date for Friday night? Scary, but probably. A job? Like a real-live employment opportunity that won’t involve you showing up to an abandoned warehouse to meet a guy Vito at 8:00 p.m.? Not sure.
5) Well did you know my son is only 25 years old and has an amazing job at…(fill in the blank). Why don’t you contact him for advice?
Here’s where the bulk of the conversation will rest.
Brag Son-Session 101.
And if you’re a girl, he’s probably going to elude more than once that it’s your lucky day because his son might also just be free tonight (imagine that!)
4) Have you tried getting an internship?
It’s not a terrible idea in itself — when you were in college. But now there’s these things called rent. college loans. grocery bills. car insurance. health insurance. etc. At least try to land a paid internship, if you can. Experience is invaluable in the next couple years, yes. Just don’t sell your young soul to get it.
3) I think you need to meet with your career planning office at school
Yes. Thank you. I tried that. And the one career fair they put on was top-notch. Sure it was 352 students for every one job, and that one job was selling toilet paper. But they did give me a button and a mouse pad. My future is all set.
2) I don’t envy you trying to find a job in this economy. But don’t worry too much. It’s all in God’s hands…
Thank you for that final punch to the kidneys.
1) And the #1 worse tip…well you tell me. What do you think is the worse tip to give a recent college grad?
“Now it’s time to pay back those student loans”…. yeah THANKS, as if I didn’t already know that the unpaid internship wasn’t going to cut it.
Stephanie – So True! A reality that we then get to experience for the next 20 years. I thought loans were like Monopoly money, I’d give Sallie Mae a couple pink and blue bills and we’d call it even. Apparently, Sallie Mae doesn’t see it the same way. Every space is Boardwalk!!!
Or they are straight A students and someone has the nerve to say “What you still don’t have a job??? You must not have taken your college work very seriously!!!” Yikes!
David – Yes indeed. And sometimes it seems the best students have the hardest time making the transition…
straight-up GENIUS!!
In my webberly journeys today, I stumbled upon an article that seemed to be distinctly written for Paul and the fine readers (myself included) of allgroanup.com. http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/31/opinion/31brooks.html?_r=2&ref=davidbrooks
Enjoy!
Mike – Thank you for the link to this article “It’s Not About You”. Some good stuff in there that is ripe for conversation. Definitely a needed read.
Don’t worry. A lot of people don’t get a job in the same field that they studied in college. At least you have a degree.
“Oh don’t worry, it’ll all work out!”
“Did you apply this?? did you apply that? What are you waiting for? ” With all the pressure every one – and i mean it.. EVERYONE – around you will put on you! ARGH! Especially if someone you were in class with got a job by which ever means.. then you’re doomed!!!
“Still don’t have a job? Have you applied to McDonald’s?Until then, here is a book you can read with all your free time!” (set book on top of endless pile of other books written for the newly graduated population, full of advice and tips on how to get through life successfully, and if you are not a millionare by age 23, then there must truly be something wrong with you.)
Yep that’s some bad advice Jacqueline 🙂 Thanks for leaving a comment
The worst advice I got when I graduated was “Don’t be choosy about what you apply for” and “Only apply for the jobs you’ll really love.”
Seriously, I’d STILL be jobless if I had followed that advice. I applied everywhere, took some really crap jobs, and worked my way to getting an even semi-decent position.