Over Christmas I met with one of my longtime mentors Erik Dixon and he said something so profound that I’ve been thinking about it ever since.
Erik has been one of the biggest influences in my life since I was 16. He would show such consistent and radical care about me that it helped take me out of some dark teenage holes that I was falling into.
Not surprisingly, Erik now has his own non-profit called Identity Craft and meets with countless people 1-on-1 locally in Denver and abroad through Skype.
And he’s still dropping insight-bombs on me, like the one he did over coffee about a concept that was the secret to being more productive, being less sick, getting a better night’s rest, experiencing less stress and anxiety — basically a range of life-changing benefits that would make a super-drug blush with envy (without the long list of side-effects that make you squirm, to go with it).
Then, I came back from vacation, and lo and behold my 60+ year-old neighbor Mary hits me with the same concept. She told me a story of singing in a choir at a funeral. She described being in a beautiful cathedral in front of a giant organ and becoming so overwhelmed with this concept, the same one Erik just described to me, that I could feel the joy bursting from inside of her.
So what’s this concept that Erik and Mary both subscribe to?
What’s this concept that I’ve been focusing on myself and already starting to feel a profound difference?
What’s the word that can so radically change your life?
Gratitude.
The Power of Gratitude
Numerous studies have shown the power of gratitude and the range of positive effects.
Two psychologists, Dr. Robert A. Emmons of the University of California, Davis, and Dr. Michael E. McCullough of the University of Miami, have done much of the research on gratitude. In one study, they asked all participants to write a few sentences each week — one group focusing on things they were grateful for, one group focusing on things that were bugging them, and the third group with no focus on positive or negative.
The results, as described in Harvard Health Publications, were that after 10 weeks, “those who wrote about gratitude were more optimistic and felt better about their lives. Surprisingly, they also exercised more and had fewer visits to physicians than those who focused on sources of aggravation.”
Other studies have shown that bosses who expressed their gratitude to employees saw a 50% increase in making sales calls than those who they didn’t thank.
A study of couples found that individuals who took time to express gratitude for their partner not only felt more positive toward the other person, but also felt more comfortable talking about their relationship.
Don’t cherish what you have until it’s ripped away.
When being grateful becomes a way of life you start realizing how much you have to be grateful for.
I know I focus so much on what I’m trying to obtain that I lose sight of what I already have. It’s the old cliche of “you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone.”
In my new book All Groan Up, I write about all the “best years of my life” and how I only felt that way once the season was over. While living in that season, I complained, grumbled, and focused on the shortcomings. When the season was over, then I realized all that I missed.
Don’t cherish what you have until it’s ripped away.
If you focus on the good, more good will consistently be revealed.
It’s not happy people who are thankful, it’s thankful people who are happy.
This week, no matter what peak or valley you find yourself in right now, what if you made a focused effort to be grateful?
Right now stop and write down five things you are grateful for. No matter your current mood. Share them in the comments on this article. It doesn’t have to be overly profound.
Now how do you feel? Do you have any specific emotions you feel the strongest right now?
Don’t think you can come up with five things to be grateful for? Well, take a trip to the bathroom. Seriously.
If you have running water, an indoor toilet to sit on, a shower that provides hot water like a magician, and soft cloud-like paper to wipe yourself, you’ve already got a lot to be grateful for.
I am grateful for my two kids, the Lords grace, a place to live, a car that works, employment, the Lords gift of journaling with Him in the mornings, I’m grateful He meets me there no matter what or how long it’s been, and I’m grateful that have the opportunity to finish college.
Pretty sure I take those things for granted more than truly being grateful for them each day, but in this moment of thinking about five things, those are what come to mind right away.
Yes Hannah! Well-said.
This makes me laugh a little. Earlier today I decided to make a list of one or two things that I adore/ am thankful for, for my boyfriend a day until Valentines Day. I wanted to be able to come up with a big list of the things I adore about him to write in an encouraging letter that’ll remind him of the positive things about himself for when he needs the extra encouragement. It’s his V-day gift. So it’s humorous to me because this article fits in with it perfectly, at least in my mind. However, I think I am going to try this for myself personally. So here are my five things I am grateful for.
1. I am grateful I have a job, while I peruse looking into what I am passionate about.
2. I am grateful I survived the breakup from a toxic 6 yr. relationship.
3. I am grateful for my new boyfriend who motivates me to become the best version of myself.
4. I am grateful I can afford online classes to possibly become a CPT.
5. I am grateful I live in a beautiful town that is close to the big city.
Amazing Skye! Great minds think alike 🙂 Thanks for sharing
I’m grateful for my wonderful husband, our families, a place to live, employment, and a God who never runs out of grace.
Well-said Sarah! Thanks for sharing!
I’m grateful for the following in this moment:
1) A God that loves me regardless,
2) A loving, patient wife who’s doing her best to support my efforts to find and live my passion.
3) My two boys for their youthful insights and reminder to have fun.
4) A roof over my head…because so many people don’t.
5) A full belly…because so many go hungry.
6) …and a bonus… a loving and generous extended family.
Thanks Paul, for reminding us that too often we don’t focus on how many blessings we already have in our lives.
Amen brother! Thanks for sharing Chad. Big things are coming your way my friend.
I got fired from a job I’ve done for NINE years that i HATED last Monday. My husband and I aren’t %100 sure how we’re going to take care of our family right now. But it’s forcing me to focus on the most important things. Here are the five things I’m grateful for:
1) my family. Biological and church family.
2) Jesus’ sacrifice.
3) nature.
4) good health
5) laughter.
Wow, Dana. Sounds like change has been thrust upon you and I’m excited to see where this takes you. Amazing that you were able to pinpoint some huge things to be thankful for even amidst this season of slight upheaval. Stay intentional in the process as much as possible. Big things are in store! This 3-part video series I did called: UnStuck: How to Crush the Things that are Holding You Back might help give you some more clarity and direction as you move into this next season. Check it out. It’s free. http://signaturesauce.com/courses/get-unstuck
Going through a break up with someone who I was with for 5 years, I am 22, really diminished my ability to be grateful for anything in life. As I am moving forward what has provided me the best healing is reflecting not on what I lost but what I still have. Here are my 5:
1. My Renewed Faith in Christ
2. My Family
3. My renewed relationship with my brother
4. Beating my drug addiction
5. The fact that I can leave for 10 minutes and my dogs will greet me like I have been gone for years.
At age 23, I had a computer science degree and worked as a sales lady, because I could not find a job related in line with what I studied. Then age 24, I found an Insurance Learnership, age 25-26 I got a scholarship at the Top Universities of South Africa, to further my studies, age 27, I got my first proper IT job, which was retail-based and bought a car and the same year, I got another job with better benefits and then I got to stay in one of the top Urban areas in cape town still in my 27th year. I am now 28, and this year, my dad got sick and my mom has stage 4 cancer which spread from breast, to liver and to bones, and it’s a battle, my finances got so bad that I could not even afford to pay my rent, car and car insurance between February and June, but God showed me that He is my provider, and will never let me down. I do not know how I could have made it without the Almighty God. In my early 20z ,until this year which is my 28th year, I have been complaining that my plans and dreams were so slow, and the problem started when I did not get a proper job in my field. But this year, which is my 28th year, I look back and see , good reasons why God allowed all these things to happen and I am so grateful and being young still, I know that He has greater plans for me. Gosh, I am crying because of joy as I write this, and I apologize that it is so long, but I can’t help it…lol…Here are top 5 things I am grateful for in my life:
1. That all these years of trials and complaining, God has still carried me through and is still carrying me through
2. That my mother will be healed and will beat cancer
3. That my spiritual journey with God has matured and all struggles and challenges have purified me and drawn me closer to God
4. That I have a job, a car, a roof over my head, food in my cardboard, a lovely spiritual family, a mother and a father, siblings
5. That God has opened a vision and opportunity for me to study and reside overseas
WOW, thank you for sharing your story Lilly and this amazingly powerful perspective. I know it’s going to encourage others.