62 Reasons You Might Be All Groan Up
Posted on December 27th, 2011
Are you a GROAN UP? Someone in that awkward limbo between growing and grown? If so, you’re not alone.
I recently unwrapped the theory of Emerging Adulthood, which suggests that there is a new developmental stage between the transition from adolescence to adult called “emerging adulthood”.
However, I’ve also been conducting my own less-than-academic research around emerging adulthood and my theory of being a GROAN UP. And after months of collecting answers from twentysomethings/thirtysomethings from around the World of Web-ernet (and sprinkling in my own), I present to you what it REALLY means to be ALL GROAN UP – someone in between growing and grown.
1. When you buy loads of cute accessories for your teenage sister, because obviously you are too GROAN up to wear them! - Kay
2. The thought of becoming an adult makes you toss up a few Fruity Pebbles.
3. You see nothing wrong with still eating Fruity Pebbles.
4. You take your nieces to see cartoon movies just so you don’t look like a weirdo watching a kids movie – Linzy
5. TGIF still means something more to you (aka you might own the entire DVD set of Boy Meets World).
6. You de-stress by coloring with crayola crayons. - Cara
7. At the first sight of snow you hope work is cancelled tomorrow.
8. You stop laughing at Friends and start thinking that Joey’s comments about sex are inappropriate. – Josh
9. You’ve had a new job (or no job) nearly every year for a decade.
10. You still eat mac n cheese for dinner (but now add peas) – Robin
11. When Father’s Day is for YOU
12. When you realize YOU have to DEAL with the car mechanics instead of your dad doing it for you! – Linzy
13. You can’t believe you’re married
14. You can’t believe you’re NOT married
15. You still don’t really know how taxes work but you pretend like you do. ~ Katie
16. You still get called “the girl” at work – A Girl Who Dreams
17. You ironed your dress shirts for the first month of your new job, and then decided a much easier strategy was just to stop believing that wrinkles exists.
18. You say things like, “That Fred Savage was dreamy” ~ Blunt Delivery
19. You bring empty Tupperware to work to take home leftover office food
20. When you make comments like “I was NEVER allowed to wear something like that when I was her age…I wore stretch pants and an over-sized t-shirt!” ~ Alyssa
21. When the last of the ketchup bottle makes a fart noise and you don’t laugh. ~ Julian
22. You realize on the morning of that Mother’s Day is not just for your mom, but also for your wife, who is now a mom. So you run out and buy a glass swan (I might be speaking from experience here)
23. You love listening to NPR now. I mean, it’s talk radio! ~ David
24. You still giggle when someone says balls (maybe just a groan up guy thing)
25. You go back to your home town and talk about all the “developments” that have happened since you’ve been gone ~ Lindsay
26. You thought Mary-Kate and Ashley were adorable. And now they kinda scare you. ~ Katie
27. When you never run out of underwear because you actually stay on top of laundry ~ Ashley
28. When you’re losing hair and gaining babies.
29. Every evening at 7:30pm you scurry to turn on Jeopardy ~ Rachael
30. You grieve all the day when you spill coffee on something that is “dry clean only.”
31. When your first reaction to finding out a friend is pregnant is “congratulations!!” instead of “holy &^%$, what happened!!” ~ Kate
32. You start taking over the counter pain relievers after a really active day of play/moving/living because you actually need them. ~ Lindsay
31. You feel like a kid most of the time, until you see a real kid and think, “good Lord, kids are really young these days.” ~ Mike
32. You chug two-day old coffee because you’re running late and you know if coffee doesn’t enter, you’re not leaving. (Note to Kid-Self for when time machines become available at Best Buy: Never fight the nap).
33. You realize that the cliques in high school are alive & well in the real world too … ~ Jocelyn
34. You need a vacation to recover from your vacation.
35. You have a 12 year old say to you, “My youth pastor was talking about Vanilla Ice and my friends and I thought he was talking about an ice cream flavor,” and you aren’t sure whether to laugh or cry because she was completely serious. ~ Lindsay
36. You get zits on your jawline and think, “Really? Still?” ~ Katie
37. You think girls today are a bit hoochy but then you see pictures of you with shirts that exposed your belly button ~ Katie
38. You know that Jerry Maguire was not Lizzy Mcguire’s dad. ~ Katie
39. You’ve made a prank call on a pay phone. ~ Katie
40. You’ve used a pay phone period. And you’ve said your name is, “Mom, come get me.” ~ Katie
41. You stop feeling entitled to winter breaks, spring breaks, and summers off. ~ Lindsay
42. The only reason you maintain your weight is so you never have to buy new dress pants
43. When the manager at Chipotle comes outside to the patio, tells the high school kids to stop throwing forks at cars and lighting things on fire, and then turns and apologizes to YOU. ~ Mike
44. You start saying, “this generation’s music really sucks” ~ Will
45. You think you’re not that old and then you realize that the kids who just graduated high school this year were born in 1993. ~ Lindsay
46. You still can’t believe your parents turned your old bedroom into an office. Did your time with them mean nothing? Shouldn’t your bedroom remain a permanent shrine?
47. When going to bed early on Sunday night to prepare for the week becomes a priority. ~ Ryan
48. You begin repeating phrases your parent’s always used to say, that you swore you never would. And then deny it.
49. You utilize your Flex Spending Account, because you know what that is now. ~ Kendra
50. When your wife complains that you drive like her grandfather just to get better gas mileage. ~ Brandon
51. When you complain in agony, “when I got my license, it only costs $20 to fill up my car!” ~ Stephanie
52. Having lower lumbar support has become a major concern.
53. “Do you have any kids” has somehow become a normal question people ask you. ~ Mike
54. You now understand what your parents meant when they said, ‘You’ll understand when you get older.’
55. When you wrinkle your brow and make comments about “kids these days” ~ Kendra
56. You rake piles of leaves and are about to jump in, but stop because ‘what would the neighbors think’
57. When you overhear 16 year olds talking about “that lady” and realize it’s you ~ Sarah
58. Your birthday slowly transitions from best day of the year to worst.
59. You really want to go sledding again. Until you actually go sledding again. Then you don’t ever want to go sledding again.
60. You still debate, “Who was hotter – Kelly Kapowski or Topanga Lawrence?”
61. When you would rather listen to the classical radio station because the alternative radio station “feels” to loud ~ My Brother Chad
62. You’ve caught yourself saying more than once, “I’m getting too old for this.“
What part of being Groan Up did we leave out? Let us know via comments below.
Seriously sharing this with everyone I know. Serrrrriously.
Thanks Megan! And thanks for encouraging me to put together this post.
When you reference The Never Ending Story and your intern looks at you like your so out of touch………FALCOR!!!!!!
Those silly kids and their lack of appreciation for cinematic masterpieces!
Haha- these are hilarious! My favorite so far is “you’re losing hair and gaining babies”
My own to add is when you find yourself starting a lot of your sentences with “Maybe I’m an old lady, but…” and you’re only 26.
When you start to be annoyed at getting carded buying drinks.
when you start to be annoyed because YOU’RE NOT getting carded buying drinks!
When you FORCE your ID onto anybody selling you alcohol, before they’d even have a chance to ask for it for fear that they might not.
Two drinks puts you out of commission for at least the first 5 hours of the next day.
You understand more references made by your 50 year old co-worker than your 17 year old niece.
You’ve considered buying a mini-van.
Abby — Too funny! Well said. “You understand more references made by your 50 year old co-worker than your 17 year old niece.” My favorite for sure.
When kids ask why you did something or why they can’t do it…and you tell them that it’s something grownups do.
…..when having your commute home from work take less time than it usually does due to a lack of traffic congestion is the most exciting thing that happens to you some days.
When you will drive out of your way to avoid having to spend the night at someone else’s house. Sleepovers are zero fun.
When you go to a home decor store and don’t buy anything, strictly because you don’t want to dust it.